The other day I talked to a 13 year old girl who met a man online. He asked her to send him pictures of herself naked and videos of herself (doing what, I'm not sure). And she did. He said he was 15 years old. She said they were "dating." She bought him a knife online and shipped it to his house because he asked her to. Luckily for her, her mother found out about this "teen romance" and put a stop to it. It remains unclear if this Washington resident is actually 15 years old. God I hope so.
This is scary stuff. We are so used to the Internet that we forget it is anonymous. Anyone could be anyone. Dating sites like Tinder, Skout, Kik are so easy to sign up for...it is so easy to become someone else. In fact, a guy on Skout messaged me the other day and said, "Hey baby. I had to get a new account. What's up?" On Skout (and almost every other dating website or app) you can block a user so they can never contact you again, but this guy proves how easy it is to just sign up again. And it's terrifyingly easy (casual encounters on Craig's List have never seemed so horrific!).
I will even admit I have gotten kind of relaxed on these applications. I talk to people without considering that they are impostors. I don't give out personal information, but still, I am not mindful of the truth either: I could be talking to anyone. Anyone. I have made this point before - it's a killer's haven. A gigantic pond with unlimited fish. And it's so easy to go fishing. I am almost 30 years old and I know this and sometimes forget. Imagine how easy it is to reel in a 13 year old.
I was going to share some messages today, but I think it is so important to preface any OLD activity with a PSA that the Internet is indeed an anonymous place and people can be fooled so easily. You have to be careful. You have to be smart. You cannot allow the idea of romance and love let you get carried away and forget the danger that being online presents.
The Safety Rules of OLD:
- Always meet in a safe, public place for the first few times.
- Don't put yourself into a compromising position by drinking too much alcohol and losing not only your inhibitions, but your judgment and ability to get away if necessary.
- Talk to the person on the phone before you meet up. It's harder (but not impossible) to fake a phone call.
- Never give out your home address before you've met the person face-to-face.
- Always, always, tell someone all the details of the date beforehand and make sure to text/call them when the date is over.
- Listen to your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
This girl is 13 years old. And she thinks she is in love with him and is devastated that she can never speak to him again. It sounds like puppy love and the teenage brain gone awry, but it can happen at any age. The right person says the right thing and suddenly you forget that the Internet is filled with creepy people who are predators in some way and want to take advantage of you somehow. So whether you are 13 or 30, it's important to be safe.
So all my OLD comrades, be smart and help you protect yourself.
Your life could be on the line.
-PJ
This entry was posted
on Monday, May 18, 2015
at Monday, May 18, 2015
and is filed under
internet safety,
O.L.D.,
okcupid,
online dating,
PSA,
skout,
tinder
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