I took a break.
I think dating wears me out - especially online dating. Its just such a long, un-fulfilling process. So I took a breather. Between school starting, the car accident and life in general... I just sort of needed some time off. I haven't been pursuing much. If someone writes me, occasionally I will write them back, but I haven't gone out of my way - looking at profiles and such.

I also added a little bit to my profile. I guess it's a good time to mention it, because it fuels what I'm about to talk about. What did I add? Well, I added that I was waiting until marriage to have sex. It's actually limited the amount of responses I've gotten, which is just fine with me. If only this guy had just done what the others had done and not replied - but he did. And by the way, this isn't the first time he has messaged me - perhaps he forgot that I didn't write him back after last time. As always, my response is in italics.

"maybe your name is jane, but you aint plain. "ain't." seriously? in fact, i find you quite desireable, and i like bigger women. wow. I am so flattered. Please call more attention to my weight. No, really, I'm thrilled.

My name is bob and I'm intelligent yeah, you know, except the whole "ain't thing...oh yeah, and the fact that the remainder of this sentence is poorly written. But, no, I get it. Very intelligent. ", funny, know Denver really well and could show you and amazing time, that is if you like that kind of thing. You know, I actually hate it. Hell, who knows, maybe you prefer staring at computer monitor breathing stale air. Stale air? All I can really say here is WTF.

If you think fun and excitement and romance might be something that you would like, perhaps you should message me back and we can exchange information for better means of communication. Well, Mr. Intelligent, I do think fun, excitement and romance are things that I would like - hence why I am on a dating website to try and find said things (I can see that intelligence thing really working for you)....I do think, however, that you are not the guy I will be finding them with. Tragic.

If not, enjoy your stale air and artificial light. Ok. Thanks. I will. I mean, without you to take me out, show me around Denver (a city I've lived in my whole life), surely I will just sit at the computer all day and night because I don't possibly have anything better to do - without you, that is.

Oh BTW, no man is going to wait till marriage to have sex. Not true. Thats like buying a car without even sitting in the drivers seat. And you know, some people are just crazy enough to do that. Rich people, in fact. Hey, maybe I'll get lucky and marry rich. Fantastic. Oh, and I'll just ignore the fact that you compared my virginity to buying a car. Whats next, some god awful sports analogy? If you think there are men like that, your going to die a very lonely person, I do think some men are like this. They are the keepers. Thats why they aren't on dating websites trying to rustle up a gal and you are sitting by your computer, breathing all that stale air. (just being frank) And I appreciate you frankness. Never mind that your wrong. and I wont stand for it personally." You won't stand for it personally. Wow. What a way to make a first impression. I tell you God is important to me, as are my vows for Him and you tell me that I should get back to you, but you won't stand for what I believe in. No, I get it. That makes perfect sense. You won't stand for it, so I'll just choose you over my Savior cause you've written such a compelling email - way better than saving my soul. Hey baby, I'm ready to jump in the sack with you right now - come on cowboy, take me away. *rolls eyes*

I got this email about 15 minutes ago and I'm still shaking my head. I don't understand how a guy can craft an email like this and think its going to get him anywhere. I am most appalled by his last paragraph. The mere suggestion that I need to give up my beliefs in waiting till I am married because "no guy" will ever stand for it - just so I'm not alone? F that. I know it's not true anyway...but this is the whole problem. Men who think this way perpetuate the idea that people shouldn't wait to have sex until marriage and girls are so afraid of winding up alone that they buy into shit emails like this one. It angers me to no end. The last sentence is so completely......I don't even have words. "And I personally won't stand for it?" I mean, I get if you don't agree with it, fine, we all have our own beliefs...but seriously, find a better way to phrase it - "I won't stand for it?" Seriously? Seriously? I mean, hey douche bag, do you have any idea how you come across when you say that?

I don't know why it annoys me so much. I considered (ok, am still considering) writing him back and telling him to F off and that he isn't the breath of fresh air any sane girl is looking for. A waste of my typing, maybe, but damn it would feel could to put this guy in his place. That's definitely something I could stand for.

-Jane.

p.s., after writing this all out, I did email him back.

"You know I thought of not replying to this message, but it
seriously made me want to slap you across the face - so I thought
I might as well be frank. All I have to say is, I would rather
die a lonely death as a virgin than date a guy like you.

Your sad stereotype of men is wrong, by the way. There are a lot
of guys who are willing to wait. I've met many of them, so I know
they do, in fact, exist. Just because you think with the wrong
head, doesn't mean all men are so inclined.

And that you won't stand for it? Seriously? Never mind that it
was a horribly phrased sentence that makes you sound like some
misogynistic ***hole...if that's the case, why even write? I tell
you this is my belief and you think you're so amazing that just
because you won't stand for it (and I will be forever alone if I
don't give in - a load of b.s., btw) that I'll reply with a
positive response? Wow. No wonder you are single.

Do me a favor, lose my profile and ID. And don't bother writing
back."