I’m a counselor-to-be, so I know the world isn’t divided up into normal and not normal. There are so many shades of gray that it’s fair to say “normal” is merely perception and doesn’t really exist. I’ve met some really interesting [in a good way] people online. In fact, one I email with regularly seems like a great guy so far. Another one I am text with also seems to be nice.
 
So I guess it’s not fair to say all weird people seem attracted to me as if I am a gigantic magnet for weird/creepy/and not [reasonably] normal…. But it sure feels that way. Anyway, you know I love the mocking block and this guy was just too good to pass up [don’t worry, I know there is a special seat in the 9th circle of hell just for me because of my blogs like this]……
 
So, I’ve been chatting with this guy. I was all set to look past the jail time (ha ha, no, I’m not kidding, he went to jail for a DWAI) because the past is the past and he turned his life towards God and as I’ve been witness to people at my church of people who have dramatically changed their lives when they let God in their heart (and here in lies the little irony to my story). So I was looking past it [tentatively]. But then this little email comes along and I laughed so much…. Not the content perhaps, but…well, you’ll see and then I’ll explain…
 
Background: the guy looks like a cowboy from the south. I don’t know if he actually is or not, but his multiple pictures make him seem so. Add that to the Southern Baptist-like beliefs (no offense to all your Southern Baptists out there) and the way he writes, I assume he has spent a majority of time in the south. Oh, and his pictures also make him seem normal (no, I’m not shallow, I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, which this tale obviously tells)... His profile also seemed great, so he looked good on paper [the weird ones always do]. So after a few messages I start thinking this guy is not what his profile makes him seem [i.e. “normalish”]. I am pretty sure that English is either not his first language or he never properly learned to read and write, because his writing skills are abysmal and he sounds like one of those guys you get when you call a customer service line and he says his name is “Tom,” but he is really a guy from India who barely speaks enough English to handle the call.
 
So one of his emails to me is this…
“……ya, I know that church for I used to go to it. Paster guill (I think that’s how you spell his name) was the pastor and then he cheated on his wife with a college girl so we stopped going, then we went to it not too long ago and they sang a pink floyd song (money) and in that song the is a curse word and the band sand that word and my mom talked to the pastor about that and the past was very rude to my mom and wouldn’t tell my mom is take on cursing so we will not go back to that church. Ya I would say that church is good for new believers but my church is hardcore into the Bible first church that the service is all about Jesus (for He is who we are to follow) and the church is not about how to live life (like with money) you would prolly love my church no lie!”
 
Can you see where I am coming from? This is not even the worst of the emails; it’s just an excerpt from one. But I even wrote back and told him that perhaps we weren’t a good match because he sounds more conservative and I am far more liberal. He wrote me back and said he didn’t know where I got that idea from [where would I get an idea with that, what when people have problems with cursing and all] and that he loved my church and went there for years until his mother told him about the Pastor (which, btw, wasn’t the real story with the Pastor anyhow) and so his family stopped going. And there was more of him back-tracking in the next two of his messages….so I honestly don’t even know what to think about him at this point.
 
At the very least, even if he turned out to be the most non-judgmental guy on the planet and was super supportive of gay people (it came up in our conversation) and he wasn’t the Crazy Christian his letters make him sound like….he is a mamma’s boy. Living at home at age 27 (supposedly because of his jail time awhile back), he tells me his parents are super strict so he can’t go out much AND he doesn’t even question his parents beliefs/views, just going along [religiously] with whatever they tell him. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to be friends with someone so well-adjusted like that? I can’t say too much cause at 26 I live at home too (school loans and master’s programs are the death of my social life), but notice that I have my own life, I run my own life, and I express my views and opinions overtly, without referring back to my mother and what she believes.
 
So what can I say to wrap up this disaster of a conversation? He asked me for my number, insisting I have this all wrong. But like I said, even if our wires got crossed on religion and he isn’t one of those crazy Christians that make the rest of us look bad…. He still has issues. And they are like, Freudian issues…like Oedipus/Electra complexes and weird crap like that [and I don’t even believe in much of Freud’s work]….and well, I deal with crazy daily…I don’t need that in my life.
 
I feel bad for the guy. I get the feeling (from a couple of sentences in a few emails) he doesn’t have a lot of friends or a lot of interest from his profile on the dating website. I am not surprised, but I still feel bad for him. One thing I can definitely say is I am willing to give a lot of people a chance (I mean, I’m not trophy wife, prize catch either), but I do have standards and those standards include a man being well-adjusted with his mother; because I have seen too many relationships that have too many problems because the mom is over-bearing or the relationship is creepy-weird between the two.
 
So, mamma’s boy is out.
And hopefully this blog doesn’t kill me karmicly (yeah, that’s right; I did just make up that word).
 
PJ