My continued frustration with OLD is the whole communication thing. I mean I don't know how hard it is to have a reciprocal conversation with someone, but apparently it is a real issue for men.

Case and point.

This guy started messaging me - his first message was "hi," which you all know I hate, but I looked past that and said hello back. So we exchange a few emails...but the conversation comes to a screeching halt when...well, here is the convo:

"hi :)

hello :-)
how are you?

pretty good how bout yourself? my name is xxx

I am doing well myself, thank you. My name is xxx :-)

nice to meet u :)...u like reggae huh? u like Pepper?

No, I don't actually like reggae. I said I could exclude them in the list of music I liked. Are you a reggae fan?

just Sublime and Pepper

I have a few songs of each on my IPOD, but overall I am not a huge fan of the genre. What other music do you listen to?

im a electronica dj, and anythig but emo, and metal. oh and that auto tune crap like akon.:

[crickets chirping] and thats it. How do I even reply to that? How hard is it to ask a follow up? How about "what music do you listen to?" Or pick another topic! Anything! Please don't make me carry the conversation - because I could answer this with something like, "that's cool, do you like being a DJ?" or maybe comment on electronica (though I don't know what that is), but really...I don't want to be the only one talking!

I read once (and have heard many times) that if a guy is interested, he wants to get to know you. I guess this means that all these guys messaging me aren't actually interested. Or maybe they are all really crappy at communication. Even the dates I have been on in the past year have been more one sided. Gotham City barely asked me anything about myself (if I didn't ask a question, it was radio silence). Even Sexy Pants was like that a little. What is the deal? Anyone have the foggiest idea?

And don't even get me started on IM guy, who does not seem able to about anything other than himself. I mean it. It was like the most painful thing. I wish I had some of the IM's saved - just to show you I am not making things up - there was no reciprocation. None. Ugh.

And these are only a few of the many males whom I have had this problem with *sigh*

Okay, I was ranting. Obviously this lack of communication really bothers me. I think back to that one guy (what did I call him? hmmm). He really had the best emails. There were answers and questions and it was honestly easy to talk with him. Too bad it didn't work out. Of course even my guy friends seem to have issues with being reciprocal. So maybe it is a gender thing? Or a me thing. Who knows. But its annoying. Okay, now I am done. I wish I had some stuff to throw on the mocking block, but its been a relatively slow week.

-PJ

So I have sort of taken a mini-break from OLD for a little bit. I just needed some space from all the people out there who can’t spell or make intelligent conversation (or any conversation, really). The poor guys I have been talking to must think I’ve dropped off the face of the earth. Ah, well, none of them were exactly winners. Texas guy was nice, but lived in Texas. The One-Upper was far too cocky for my taste. Nothing to lament. But I got on today and since I was bored at work I started looking at a few profiles. I have two favorites to put on the mocking block….

1.) This guy states he is 4’6 and has lost 7 teeth, isn’t remotely funny, and writes lots of other things that are of similar fashion. Clearly he is trying to be sarcastic, maybe he thinks he is funny? There is such a thing as being OVERLY sarcastic though. I mean, there is a point where it is just over-the-top annoying. This guy reached it in the first paragraph…but then he goes on for about five more.

2.)This guy states “Either way I feel I should inform you that I have the three things that women want." (oh boy, I am intrigued - because we women all want the exact same three things). "I’m hot, and I’m smart.” Uh…where is the third thing? Well, buddy, I really don't think you are as smart as you seem to think you are. You can’t even count to three. And I was really looking forward to finding out what that third thing was. Darn.

I did get an email from yet another guy living in Texas (what is it with people in that state?). I don’t understand it. He seemed pretty nice though. Too bad he lives in Texas. I got a couple of emails from soldiers currently in Iraq, wanting to email until they return home and then go out. I guess a guy close to home is too much to ask for?

A guy friend of mine is also doing online dating. He seems to be having trouble too. So apparently it’s not just the general stupidity of the male gender. It's just the general stupidity of the human species (this doesn't make me feel much better). I guess we just gotta keep keep on keeping on though. Eventually someone will come along (I hope).


-PJ

I am convinced when a guy says that he really looks forward to chatting and for us to get to know each other, what he really means is that he is looking forward to getting to talk about himself for an entire night. Case and point...the guy I am currently IM'ing (as we speak) is devilish hard to have a conversation with. I mean, if we aren't talking about him, we aren't talking. If I don't ask him a question about himself 10 minutes can go by without chatter. But he was so incredibly interested in getting to know me. Hmmm... this isn't the first guy to do this either. Is this a male trait I am just not aware of? A complete inability to ask a girl questions about her life, but a complete ability to talk about himself for long periods of time? I mean, I know its in my nature to ask questions, I've always been a curious girl that asks more questions than I answer...but come on...when 10 minutes can go by, this is no longer about my curious nature and more about his narcissism.

I am officially opting out of one of my matches: Chatterbox, as I have officially named him. He and I couldn't get past one sentence emails and though mine always included a question, his did not. I don't mind working a little to get a conversation going, but seriously. It was painful. So, bye, bye chatterbox.

And while we are on the subject of conversation....my least favorite phrase in the history of online dating is "tell me about yourself." Ugh. What exactly am I going to say? "Hi, my name is PJ, I'm a Gemini and I like long walks on the beach at sunset?"(And yes, I did email that to someone, if your curious). I mean really? Ask me a question and I'll answer it...but don't leave it so open ended! Ah, that's just a pet-peeve I suppose.

Alright, clearly I'm in a little bit of a ranting mood tonight. This guy I am IM'ing is just boring me to tears. Luckily Tebow and I are txting...he is funny at least.

Until next time,
-PJ

I think it's become sort of a tradition to start out with my more interesting messages. And if you knew me in real life, you'd know I am not one to break traditions. So...

"I give GOD the praise to know that there are people in this site that really take Christianity serious. It brings joy to know I have a someone to understand my Born Again language.
I will like to know you more, and if you think the same, you just a few words to my mail box.
I know that there is what they call scamming? But there is only ONE (1) pastor Fabian in Cameroon. May the LORD GOD of heaven, decorate you with the dew of blessings for this season. JESUS is LORD" I don't even know what to say. The guy literally rendered me speechless. Although I will say I didn't realize that "Born Again" was a language. And whatever disillusions this poor soul is under...I definitely don't understand the language. It's not only Greek to me, it's weird Greek. It's like, crazy, psychopath Greek. I didn't have the heart to email him back and tell him that mostly Born Again Christians just freak me out.

One guy emailed me and called me ma'am. And while that sort of think might work if you see me in person, have a southern accent, and are tipping your cowboy hat in my direction, otherwise it just makes me feel old - difficult to do, as I am only 25.

But seriously. The guys that give me the most headaches are the ones who just say "hi." Because of my new dating rules (all 4 of them) I now reply to those guys who just say hi. And then it becomes very painful when we exchange one sentence emails back and forth. It almost makes me wish for the guys who wrote weird, but at least entertaining, messages. Ah, the grass is always greener right?

Alright, but enough of that crap. I have two updates for you.

1.) The one guy I am talking to now (who does not live in TX anyway, which is a whole other story), is well...driving me crazy. No one is that positive about life. And this is coming from me, a person who (despite all evidence to the contrary) is pretty positive. And the guy is a little very cocky. So why am I letting this charade continue? Well...I don't really know. Masochism maybe?

2.) Mr. Gotham City and I went on a date.

And now the fun begins....

Well, first of all, if I hadn't talked with Gotham City previously, I'd have thought he was gay when I first met him. I actually am secretly wondering if his strong objections to the gay population is mere homophobia that stems from the fact that he secretly is gay. In which case, man I really know how to pick them. But for the sake of this blog, lets pretend he is in fact straight and I can continue my story....

So we go to the Denver Zoo Lights, which is something I have always wanted to do on a date. Although, when I imagined it, we were strolling through the lights, not walking at lightening speed. Which we were in fact doing. And we started out with typical conversation...until he mentioned that Colorado is not only a liberal state, but way too feminist. Yeah. That didn't really go over so well with me. But I was polite. I held my tongue. So the date continues and suddenly I am hearing about how college is the anti-Christ and it is evil and has gotten away from teaching people the values of Christ. And even though religion, money and politics are forbidden subjects on the first date...well, I couldn't help myself. So we gotten into a discussion about God. I politely listened and asked questions about his views (while secretly mocking him my head - which sounds mean, but I swear if you heard what I heard, you'd be mocking him to. Just admit it to yourself and we can move on).

And if his views of Christianity weren't weird (and uneducated) enough, he soon divulged his beliefs about the government. That's right ladies and gents... a bona-fide conspiracy theorist. And here I really had to work hard at not laughing. Also, he seriously believed he wasn't a judgmental person (although I am not sure where his definition of judgmental comes from, given that he is completely text-book judgmental) And of course he also let me know that I was too smart for my own good. And if everything else didn't cinch my belief that this was a one-time date, that comment certainly did.

I am trying to decide if Gotham City was worse than creepy stare guy. No...I guess not. At least I had an interesting conversation with Gotham City. Or, really, any conversation at all. Of course I had to work hard to keep the conversation going. That's right, if I wasn't asking questions or he wasn't explaining his bizarre views on something, we weren't talking. I don't think he asked me a single personal question all night. I don't know why it is so hard for people to ask about the other person. I mean, in my upcoming profession its a requirement, and really, it's always come naturally for me....but I can't imagine its that hard otherwise. I mean seriously.

I almost pulled out the bat signal and messaged my best friend to save me, but I didn't call for reinforcements. I just debated the existence of God with him instead (which was fun...for me anyway). I argued that the "soul" could be explained by science (the neocortex of the brain) and that spouted off a whole bunch of random scientific facts that don't exactly point to God. He didn't like this very much (and this apparently further proved his point that college was a tool of Satan teaching untrue things about God). I, of course, believe in God, Christ and having a soul...but it was fun to see him squirm for a moment...you know, using my too-smart brain, which was developed at Satan's school with all of his evil tools of persuasion. Needless to say, any chance of romance was over long before this conversation started (I'm not completely stupid. I do, in fact, know how to act on a first date).

So while it was an unsuccessful evening I definitely learned a few things. One, no crazy Christians for me. Two, no conservatives and three, no conspiracy theorists. Oh, and while we didn't talk about it, I am pretty sure he'd want me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen when the time came...and since I am a feminist, I think I'm going to have to require my next date at least believe in feminism and think it is an okay thing.

So that's it from the desk of this online dater.
Lets just hope the next entry is as entertaining :-)

-PJ