There is this genuinely good guy I've wanted to date for four years (He is known, in some circles, as the Greek God; you know I like a good nickname). Ironically, I met him on Skout. You'll understand the irony once you read further...excerpts from a "reputable" dating website I have been on these days. If you look back at my previous entries, you'll note Skout has been one of those creepy dating apps with dick pics and dying declarations of love. However, these days, it's Plenty of Fish that's making me regret considering the male species suitable for a love connection. Or hell, a human connection.

It's all about the sex, it seems. Not that this is news on an online dating site, it just seems to be nothing but these days. I swear every guy has wanted to see five pictures, in addition to the 6 they already get to see on my profile. My hips, butt (uh..."booty"), and me in underwear are the most popular. And the second I say no, it's some lame excuse and then they are never heard from again. The same is true of guys who have told me they want me to come over and cuddle and "watch a movie." How stupid do I look? So I suggest a first date of dinner or drinks first (its that whole safety and getting to know someone first thing). "Oh yeah, well we could totally do dinner first. I am just super busy with work, so I might not be able to for a while..." Oh yeah, but when sex was involved it was like, "anytime works for me babe." Yeah. Real subtle.

Of course I still get the weird ones:

And the 'oh so obvious' nonchalant attempts...
And then the worst of the worst. This one actually had me speechless. He was just being....cruel for the sake of being cruel.

Yeah. Just yeah.


Oh, and of course, to nicely round of my day...
 .... to which I responded with something like, "do women really response to that?" His response? Like what? and so.... So before I can even see the message, come up with a good retort, the inevitable dick pic request comes. The next message I didn't take a screen shot of because I said, "no, I am not interested." And like any reasonable person, I thought that was enough. But no....two days ago he messages again and says.....
 


Unfortunately for me, knowing The Greek God and knowing the handful of guys that I do (both online and IRL), I know that there are good men out there. Kind, caring, compassionate decent, likeable. And I am not saying sex isn't on their mind, but its not the first thing and it isn't so....blatant. I am not quite sure why they are hiding from me. Why these jackasses keep finding me. It's like some hellish version of hide and seek. This reality tears me in two....between wanting to date because there is actually a chance I'll find someone at some point....and not wanting to date because...well, because men.


Fun times.
-PJ
(@plainjanedating on twitter)


P.S. for fun, this was the best profile picture of the week. I just don't understand people (which is saying something considering the field I am in).

Ever since I have started online dating, I have seen things I can't unseen. The things I've read or heard from men have really been enough to lose faith in the whole of the male species. I really thought by now I'd heard it all. Submission, domination, fetishes, dick pics, proclamations of undying love, cuddle buddies and friends with benefits.... but this guy....

So this guy messages me, "How crazy are you?" So I think, oh boy, just another guy looking for another weird sexual something. And I go to his profile and sure enough....

Not looking for anything serious. That's cool. Not for me, but as the curious psychology driven, blogger I am intrigued. What exactly is crazy to this guy?
 (and yes, I realize this side of me is exactly why I have heard and seen it all and lost faith in dating and romance and love). So here is his answer.......



So...that's a new one.
And apparently, to him, kids are nothing serious. That's sightly frightening. I politely declined, but now I am sort of wishing I had held onto this conversation. Not because I am interested in having a baby with a random stranger who thinks kids are some casual thing...but because I'd love to know this baby daddy's plan. How do we raise this kid? Co-parenting? Do we share family events? And who pays for things? Split it down the middle, going halfsies? Do you just want to be a part-time daddy? Why do you even want kids? All good questions that I'd love to know the answers to. Mostly, I really just wonder why on earth he would go about having a kid this way, but I suppose it makes a kind of sense. It's certainly cheaper and faster than adoption or finding a surrogate. It is consensual and there is the added bonus of not having to be tied down in a marriage or relationship, cause it's just for funsies.

Now I really do think I've heard it all.

-PJ
(@plainjanedating)

It's been a while since I have dated. It's been a while since I have wanted to. Just read any of my previous blogs and you'll understand why. It's not exactly a mystery. What is a mystery is where have all the good guys gone? The ones who will just have a conversation with you about normal, non-sex related things. I swear they were out there...at some point. Now? I am beginning to wonder if they were only a figment of my wishful imagination.

One thing has changed since my last blog post in May. Now, instead of guys asking if you want to see their dick, they ask if you want to see their "naughty." No. I am not joking. Four people in the past four days (three of them today alone) asked me if I wanted to see their naughty. It's a silly name, like saying it that way makes it more acceptable?  But the question alone still mystifies me. Why would I want to see your dick? Why? You've see one, you've seen them all. I understand a guy's penis is solidly tied to his ego and in order to be successful in the dating world that ego needs to be stroked (oh God, no pun intended), but that does not mean I need to actually see your dick. Or stroke it for that matter. But that's another blog for another time.

Today I had a very long day of talking to men from POF. A lot of insecure men. Like when I went to dinner and this guy got all pissy that I didn't talk to him for two hours. High maintenance anyone? Or the one who saw my full body picture, told me I had a big butt (a risky statement - that could go either way) and that he liked it (although the picture of my full body in no way actually shows my butt, so....) and then when I didn't answer him (because I'd been sleeping... shocking, how we women like to sleep), he got all mad because he assumed I was mad about the big butt comment. I didn't care either way, but thank you for removing yourself from my list by being oh-so-dramatic about your own comment about MY butt. Seriously.

I made the choice to start dating again....I thought I was ready to be back online. I must have repressed all the drama because I swear it wasn't like this last time around. The dick pic thing, yes, but the drama of these boys....wtf? Four days in and already I want out.

That can't be a good sign.

-PJ

(@plainjanedating