Ah. There are weeks when no one will write anything to me and I almost forget, in my peaceful life, that online dating exists [I love weeks like this]. And then....out of the blue, I get messages like this and I am reminded why I am pursing online dating from a distance....

"Dear [PJ], please read carefully... you wrote on your profile:

"God is a huge part of my life and I attribute all my success in anything to Him. I feel like God's "better life" for me includes waiting until marriage to have sex. If you have a problem with this or don't see yourself being able to respect my decision, then we probably won't be dating. One thing I'm going to mention straight away on here is that I am not skinny or slender, by any means. I work out, eat right and am spending the time to get healthy, but to be frank, I'm not thin."

Honestly and with all respect... As a man, I respect your wanting to stay celibate until marriage, a lot of men WANT THAT... so don't worry too much about that.
BUT a lot of us also don't care whether you are "skinny" or "slender" as a matter of fact many of us would rather be with a "big" girl than with one who vomits three times a day... no offense to girls who struggle with that, but eating disorders are CREEPY and men don't find that attractive... so don't worry about that too much either, in fact scratch that little bit from your profile mainly because it shows a lack of confidence and that is even less appealing than how much a woman weighs or doesn't weigh. Men want to be loved for who they are as well, focus on that and you may find someone who will love YOU for who YOU ARE... Just some advice sweetie. bye."

I read through it a couple of times before deciding that my emotion about the letter should be offended. I mean...seriously. I don't really think that, in this day and age, a lot of men WANT celibacy until marriage. I mean, I don't have any statistics to back me up here (although he doesn't either), but I got wayyy more messages before I put that little tid-bit into my profile. I see a correlation at least. But I guess that comment was small potatos compared to the one about my weight....so it's going on the mocking block. Cheers.

BUT a lot of us also don't care whether you are "skinny" or "slender" I simply refuse to believe this. Society, sad as it is, prizes thin, you can't tell me the majority of male society doesn't care. as a matter of fact many of us would rather be with a "big" girl I've personally always had a problem with the adjective 'big girl' but what I hate more about this sentence is how he writes it..."big girl." Who knows, perhaps its the quotations that gives it a tone that makes me want to slap him...than with one who vomits three times a dayAnd how exactly does he know that I don't vomit three times a day...he could have just offended me here... no offense to girls who struggle with that, but eating disorders are CREEPY and men don't find that attractiveyou know what I don't find attractive? Guys who write girls with the sole purpose of critiquing their profiles. I find it creepy. And condescending. ... so don't worry about that too much eitherokay...but just because YOU say so...I'll take your opinion as what all men think, in fact scratch that little bit from your profile mainly because it shows a lack of confidence and that is even less appealing than how much a woman weighs or doesn't weighAh. This is the part I really want to roll my eyes at. Lack of confidence? Uh....no, no genius, it doesn't show a lack of confidence. In fact, I'm not sure if you know what that word means, perhaps, before talking you should look up the big words, okay?. Men want to be loved for who they are as well, focus on that and you may find someone who will love YOU for who YOU ARE... Just some advice sweetieDon't even get me started on the whole sweetie thing. bye." Honestly...I am just really confused on why this guy is single.

Okay...so perhaps more than mocking it I am just flat-out annoyed by this guy (who, btw, has this creepy picture in which the word serial killer comes to mind). I mean, seriously. I don't understand how telling people that I am not thin equates to a lack of confidence. It DOES, however, equate to an honest, realistic picture of myself and where I am in my life. Notice how I don't lie to anyone so they are getting a nice surprise, expecting one thing and getting something else. I am not sure how this genius came up with a lack of confidence...but anyone who actually knows me, knows that I am a pretty confident person in general. *sigh*

I am tempted to write this guy back. Like...

Hey "Sweetie" Please ready carefully [and incidentally...who the F writes that in a message anyway?] who do you think you are and why on earth would you write someone a message like that? If I wanted your opinion I'd have asked for it. But I don't want it. Because clearly you are crazy. And while we are on that subject, you really should refrain from posting those pictures of yourself. When I see them, I imagine a cabin in the woods and you taking women there to murder them with a chain saw. In case you weren't aware, girls like guys that aren't creepy looking; re: they don't look like serial killers in pursuit of their next victim. Just a thought, you know, in case you wanted my unsolicited opinion on the matter.

....But maybe just letting it go, taking the higher road in not pointing out that his lack of intelligence is a turnoff and girls honestly appreciate a man who is...you know...not a condescending idiot... is the way to go on this one.

*shakes head*

PJ