I am going to go on two rants tonight (and of course share some pictures, because what would this blog be without those treasures?).

Rant One: Communication. I have said this all before, but I am continually surprised by how little people communicate properly. I am talking with a couple of guys and it's me asking the questions and them answering the question and then....nothing. That's it. So then I have to ask another question, same thing, and then another question... It's a never ending cycle. 1.) This is not an interview. 2.) If you don't make an attempt to get to know me, how are you going to know if we are compatible? Am I no more than a pretty face? Now before you go on saying that's just how guys are, let me tell you this: I know guys who can carry on a reciprocal conversation quite easily, so it's not just the gender itself (and stop stereotyping!). Are they lazy? Do they just not care about the answers? It's incredibly annoying. And oh so common. I am sad to say.

End rant One.

Rant Two: I recently read this article from NBC News story Meet the Woman Behind 'Perv Magnet,' a Project Documenting Online Harassment. The story is interesting enough (and lets women everywhere know that they are not alone!). Admittedly, I would not have taken it as far as her, posting who they really are, name and picture. I, at least, keep a little confidentiality. I mean, they are still creepy assholes, but still, I feel its only right. But I think I like the article because it is FINALLY shedding some light onto a subject nobody talks about: Social media and harassment. Because that really what it is, if you have to give it a name. Sending a penis picture or talking about your penis is, in effect, a form of sexual harassment. I don't ask for it, I don't want to know about your penis and I definitely don't want to see your penis.  I am just saying. Really, though, it was the comments on FB that made me annoyed enough to rant about it.

"Quit attention whoring babe... U aint all that and it aint made outa gold either... Lol. You really saved 10 years worth of messages from the internet to make yourself feel "in demand"??most people i know would have deletes,ignored and moved on Someone needs to get a life.." I won't even comment on the grammar (as I shudder reading it). It's not about feeling "in demand" or needing a life. It's about showing a side of the social media culture that women have to deal with and making people AWARE.

"Men are wired with sex as #1 priority. Women should understand this & manage THEMSELVES appropriately. Doing a study that proves men are sex fiends means nothing. Most people already know this. There are men everywhere to observe. Is not a secret." Men are wired with sex as a #1 priority? Oh please. So they should get to say whatever sexual comment they want, whenever they want it? I don't think so. You wouldn't let a guy walk up to you and say something wildly sexual or touch your breasts in any other social setting would you? No, because its inappropriate. But according to you, they should be allowed because sex is their #1 priority and that's just how they are. Idiot.

"Here's a thought... If you're going to be offended by pervy comments, DON'T post pics of yourself in your undergarments for all to see" My problem with this comment is that it puts all the responsibility of these inappropriate messages on the girl and her alone. She should be able to post whatever photo she likes without fearing guys will be disgusting pigs about it. Men DO have the ability to NOT say pervy things to a woman just because her picture is provocative. They CHOOSE to say such comments. They make the intentional effort to write out a message (or enclose a dick pic). Should they not have to take responsibility for their actions just because they have dicks and "sex is their number one priority?" F that! It might not be wise for a woman to post a picture in their underwear, but it doesn't mean that they should be subjected to sexually explicit messages that they didn't ask for. That's like saying a woman who wears a shorter dress deserves to be raped - they were asking for it. It's ridiculous.

"I'm lucky guys don't find me attractive lol oh wait....maybe it's also cause I don't dress and show myself off? yeaa...could be that too" Again, see my above comment.

There were tons more comments that I rolled my eyes at (or got downright angry at!). But I think I will just prove my point in my own way. First of all, let me say I have NO pictures on any of my profiles in which I am in just my underwear or not fully clothed. I have nothing provocative in pictures or on my profile that could be construed as suggestive in any way. And I still get these messages. It isn't because she wore skimpy clothes or is in her bra or whatever. It just happens. Regardless. And men, you too should be offended because people are summing up your gender as a bunch of pervy men that just can't help themselves! Like you have no self-restraint or manners. And women, they are basically suggesting we should just let it go because "that's how men are." The worst argument I have ever heard for men showing a woman pictures of their penis or writing sexually aggressive messages to them. Seriously!

But let me show you a few that I've gotten over the last few weeks:

  [No, you aren't mistaken, this message was sent to me by 2 different people, almost exactly the same thing.]

[We went from casual, non-sex related conversation to THIS, 0 to 60 in 5 seconds]

I know I said I was taking a break. And I am. But two things have come across my desk that I wanted to share because they so relate to this OLD world. First, an appropriate 101 on sending dick pics (thanks to Elizabeth for sharing)

I am so sick of platitudes. Men telling me how (enter word here) I am. And it runs the gamut too.

Beautiful
Insanely beautiful
Sexy
Cute
Crazy pretty
Absolutely gorgeous
Utterly gorgeous
Really hot
a hot babe
Amazingly stunning
Absolutely stunning
"The Most beautiful girl I have seen on this application"
"You are so blessed with beauty and curves"
"Cute, sweet and beautiful."
"Most beautiful lady I have ever seen"
"Cuteness overload"
"Now I believe angels exist

I am sorry, but I am not the most beautiful woman in the world, nor am I the most beautiful woman you have ever seen - unless you have kept your eyes closed for the majority of your life. I am getting very annoyed at men who keep telling me things like this. It's not that I have low self-esteem. I don't question my beauty. I know men who tell me I am beautiful and I believe them. The key difference, I think, is those men are sincere and I can tell they are sincere. These other guys...not sincere. Most of them just want a blow job or a quickie. At the very least they want to see my breasts and show me their penis (which I do not want to see, contrary to what they think) and sext. My favorite one is how much they want to cuddle. With me, a complete stranger. Cause it's "so nice and comforting to just cuddle with someone" (who cares if you don't even know them). It's more like they believe wanting to cuddle is their ticket into my pants. It's not. I am increasingly frustrated how much of this I encounter on dating websites (yes, I am back on dating websites :( ). Where are the guys who just want a nice conversation to start and maybe a couple days of texting (note: not sexting) before setting up a date? Everyone is so quick to get my number and go out on a date with me. They don't even take the time to get to know me, even a little. Everything is so shallow and superficial. Including all the compliments.

This isn't even a good sarcastic blog - this is just the writings of a frustrated woman that does not want platitudes from every guy on their first or subsequent messages (overkill much?). If you genuinely believe I am beautiful, that's cool and much appreciated. But don't start out with any one of those above sentences. I would reply to a "hey" only message rather than a "you're stunningly gorgeous" message any day. The one word greeting seems more sincere than the fake compliment.

I am laying off the blog for a while. I am getting a lot of material for my mocking block, it's true, but I am really not in a place where it's funny. I am a little bitter at the moment and writing about all this just isn't fun (and that is how it should be on here). I'll be back. I am sure.

Until then,
-PJ

Skout is never disappointing. Well, let me re-phrase. Skout never disappoints to give me material for the mocking block. It does, however, make me disappointed in men. But I suppose Skout isn't to blame for that. Men are.

 [Umm....no.]

 [I thought this was original and funny, until I remembered I've heard it before. And then it became less cute and definitely unoriginal.]

 [Thank you for your Geographical history. Which I don't care about. At all.]

 [Again, I don't care. I should also note I've had this same message "I'm from ______" from several different countries. Most recently Australia]

 [What requirements? What requirements?!? I don't have any requirements listed. I checked, just to be sure. Also, he gave a complete stranger his name and number. What if I was a stalker? Or a serial killer?]

 [Wait. What?]

 [That's a new kind of compliment. Can't say I've ever been complimented on my skin tone before].

 [Aside from the incredibly bad English...no, I will not do you a favor and give you, a complete stranger, my number.]

My dating activity has been pretty slow because I took myself off all the dating sites (as I am dating someone, yay!). Even though I am unavailable, I still want to be able to blog a little, so I turn to Skout. I should first point out that on my Skout profile it says I am only interested in friends and chatting. Apparently though, that doesn't really matter to people. I've gotten probably over 50 new chat requests. Most are that stupid, lazy "So and So Winked at you" crap. But I've had some real winners.

Here are some that weren't awesome, but they weren't horrible....they tread the fine line:

“Hello cutie, what’s up?”

“You’re hot”

“U r really really really really beautiful girl”

“Waw :)”

“Hiiiiii [Name]!’

“Wow, you are hott :) What are you up to??”

 “Up for no strings?”
"God you are so incredibly gorgeous [monkey face, smiley face w/heart eyes]."

"Damn you're cute"

"Ops hi [Name]. You have a nice name.] [um...thank you?]

And of course, the ones you all come here to see....

 [and if I have? Because I am pretty sure the scenario that is going on in your head has nothing to do with love. Or romance.]

 [This would have gone into the not terrible, but not awesome category, but then he had to speak again. And that really sealed his fate.]

 [yes, absolutely terrified]

 [that's a new one]

  [um....]

  [you know, I have ESP, so yes, I know, without ever meeting you or your best friend, that yes, we would become BFFs]

  [Yeah. Thanks.]

 [Oh goody. Just what I was hoping for]

 [This one isn't too bad. I've never heard this particular cheesy pick-up line before. Points for originality]

 [Well, thank you for telling me you're not going to call me cute, but will call me something else instead. Why couldn't you have just called me beautiful without saying you weren't going to call me cute? If only your long story had actually been short].

  [You got the whole picture here because there is just so much wrong with it. 1.) His sn is his name and HIS WIFE's name. Ick. 2.) The picture he chose is him in a family picture with his wife.Double ick. 3.) He is 63. triple ick. 4.) "Hi sexy".....from the 63 year old perv whose picture and name include his wife, calling me  sexy. The ick factor is just too much.

 [I hope this is large enough to read. It's been a long while since I've engaged in conversation with someone who has written me something regarding the awesomeness of his penis. It's so....refreshing...to see that somethings never change. Note my sarcasm here. I guess I have to point it out, cause apparently this guy didn't get it.]

It's a good thing I updated my pictures and got a chance to read through all these messages. I am going to go take a mental shower now. Possibly a real one too.

Blech.

-PJ

I will admit that I have had some good first dates followed by the typical rejection text message (cause no one uses a phone anymore). It's disappointing, especially when the guy you like seems awesome and you have a great time. Through all my online dating years, I've never encountered this, although, something equally not-so-cool has happened to me once. This woman handled it way better than me. I wish I could meet her and shake her hand. Cause seriously, his douche baggery and her response are both worthy of a PJ blog. Take a second to read it. And then marvel at how completely fucked up some men are.

Tinder Post-Date Disaster 


Moving on to other things. It's been slow on Skout. But that doesn't mean I haven't gotten anything. No. Men with no class are everywhere; there is no hiding from them. This one is from Blue:

 [Wow. Classy.]

 [How do I even respond to this? By ignoring it you say? Exactly.]

 [Lil cutie? Babygirl? No.]

Good news first:

Comfort/Safe   R
Able to communicate  R
Assertive  R
Confident   R
Good Looking R
Mature  R

That is not a bad list, I don't think. And I am flexible. These are not deal breakers because I understand people are always growing and changing. Someone can learn to communicate, or grow in self-confidence. People can cut their hair and shave their beard and that may do wonders to their image. Maturity can exist in one area of their life, but need development in another area. These are all fluid characteristics, I think. My deal breaks are:

1.) No current drug use (incl marijuana), no serious drinking problems  R
2.) Has to like dogs, since I now have one that will be with me for a very long time.   R
3.) Wants to get married (eventually) and wants kids
4.) Does not want to leave Colorado (my family is here, so I am here)."


The last two are up in the air at the moment for some very good reasons. So for right now, I don't consider them deal breakers. In any case, Mountain Man is amazing. Well, look at my list. I think he is all of those things in some way or another. If things keep going like they have been, I see myself with him for the foreseeable future. I think he feels the same (man I hope so anyway). We have some obstacles we have to work through, but he is the kind of guy that is worth it. He makes me smile. J

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Of course because the world is ying and yang, there must be some bad to off set all this good. Below you'll find the latest of Skout messages (for the time being, I'm off the actual dating sites).

  [Bad English aside....Epitome of beauty? Really? Come on. And oh yes, let me just give you, a complete stranger, me cell phone number in hopes that you what? Charm the pants off me and make me fall madly in love with you? More likely, you trace my number, come find me, and make me into some kind of creepy skin suit. I don't think so.]

 [Yes, it is bad. Because for all you know, I am a 40 year old bald, hairy man just on Skout for kicks (or something far more nefarious). I guess this might work for some women, and those women should definitely not be dating at all, but it does not work for me.]

 [What exactly does it take to be a fancy lady? ...oh.... super, super pretty. Not actually what fancy means at all, but whatever. And thank you for being kind enough to not send me a picture of your penis or any other naked part of your body. I appreciate the gesture. It's actually sad that I have to be appreciative of this because not sending a nude picture should not be the exception. It SHOULD be the norm. But on here, it just so isn't.]

  [Ah, fetishes. I just never tire of them. Of course, as I have previously mentioned, probably not the first thing you should bring up. But I guess if you're just looking for some sexting or actual sex....maybe it doesn't matter. I don't know. I think it's weird to be the first thing you say to someone.]

  [Too late buddy, the guy before you wanted me so badly. But I swear to god if the next words out of your mouth are "if it's wrong, then I don't want to be right." I will scream. At you.]

 [Sure. Please, random stranger, ask me questions. Let me guess - what size is my bra? How big are my breasts. Are they perky? What kind of panties do I wear? Do I actually wear panties? Are my toes painted? Would I let you put your face in between my boobs?  ... all questions I have been asked at some point. By strangers. I know I went to school for psychology. I know I am supposed to understand people and the way their minds work. I swear to God, I just do not understand.]

 [I am so nice, he asked me twice. And since I blocked his profile the first time, he actually just remade his profile and asked again. I wonder if a girl said yes, what he would say....damn. I should have said yes to find out. Well, perhaps he'll ask a third time. You know what they say, third time is the charm.]

 [Hmm is right. Help me out. Are you a vampire? Like whats the point of this picture. And really. Hmm? Come on. Actually, I wish I would have said "hmm what" to see what he said. Damn, I am off my game.]

 [Yes, you must be new. Because this is what you should put on a dating profile, not in a Skout message. And please, give me your life history. I am so very interested in your child and your dead wife and your parents and the place you grew up and blah, blah, blah. Considering what most people use Skout for (re: SEX), I don't think they want to know this stuff either. Try again.]

 [You're not good at this first message thing? You don't say? I would have never guessed from this. Blessings and failures and promises of love, joy and forgiveness. You sound like the writer of a Hallmark card. A writer who was fired for writing shit like this.]

This is Blue's gem of the week:

  [Maybe this is just me, but if you want to get to know someone better and not just hook up, I'd leave out the part of having a nice round plump booty and any mention of hooking up. They might otherwise think you are full of shit.]

Before I close, Blue found a joke that kind of perfectly describes OLD. 

(https://ifunny.co/fun/OjtXARC73)

Ha ha. Exactly. 

-PJ

Usually every blog post is a mockery of people who have messaged me (or Agent Blue) with ridiculous messages...and I will get to that (because it never ends). But I did want to start out with positive news (on this blog? What?)

I had a date last night with a nice guy. No, I mean it. He was nice and respectful and sweet. A mythical creature I was sure did not exist. And our date? Fantastic. We went bowling. It's the first fun date I have been on. Ever. (Wow, that is sad - I mean, I guess I have had other relatively good dates, but not fun ones like this). Of course, there was that nervous awkwardness that every first date produces, but it was like, a good kind of awkwardness. The kind you have when you want to impress your date and want things to go really well. And there was a good night kiss, for all of you wondering. A good one. ;-) . And talk of a 2nd date. Yay!

So I have managed to fine one good guy online. But for every one guy, I have been approached by 100 weird, creepy, or gross men. And what would my blog be if I didn't share those joyous experiences?

 [Again, really?]

 [Um, thank you?]

 [Yes, yes I am. Thanks for pointing that out.]

 [Wait. How sexy?]

 [A for effort. Some pick-up lines are humorous (albeit cheesy)]

 [Sigh.]

 [I read that right...right? "I am not looking for something that is courteous I want know if you don't mind? .... not courteous. Wait. Is this the slave guy???]

 [Um......WTF?]