How about we begin with a story?

So here is the story about Jared...

Jared first contacted me on a popular web site known as plentyoffish.com. His profile wasn't super revealing but his message was nice and his picture was good. Actually, it made him look like James Bond - so debonair in a tux. I thought, perhaps a few good conversations will reveal what was lacking in the profile. I replied to his message and instead of answering me back with any sort of answers to my questions, he asked for my number. I was weary of a number exchange, but I thought, people give out their numbers all the time in the real world, how could it hurt?

His very first text message answered a few basic questions that I found to be important. Do you drink, smoke and are you religious? He answered all three questions with acceptable answers (no, not a lot and yes)...so I thought, so far so good. And then it happened....he asked me if I could "kick it" the following day. Kick it? Really? Seriously? Alright, perhaps I am getting hung up on the choice of phrase used (but...seriously?). I suppose my biggest problem is that he knew virtually nothing about me (or me about him) and he already wanted to...kick it. I haven't been in the online dating world that long, but even I recognize how incredibly fast that is. Look around any web site spouting online dating advice and they will all tell you the same thing...a couple emails to start with, followed by a few phone conversations and then meet. A nice three step program which helps to filter out the not-so-great guys and it helps promote safety.

Jared earned his nickname in this conversation "Jared Just Kickin It." And I did politely decline his invitation to kick it (what are we, soccer players here?). I told him I was going out of town and wouldn't be available (and yes, that was true). He accepted it well and persisted, texting me to ask how my day was going and even how my flight was on my trip. Good signs, I thought.

So we text a couple of times while I am out of town...but the thing is, they were all open ended conversations. Basically, we are having a mini-texting conversation and I would text him something (usually a question) and he'd never respond. And that would be it, until the next day when his name would appear in my inbox and his message saying, "hey." At first I thought, well, maybe he wasn't getting my message - it's been known to happen after all...but then it would happen with every conversation and suddenly the pattern made it appear as though it was just how he did things. Now maybe it doesn't bother any of you, these open-ended conversations...but I don't think its so hard to answer my questions or if you are busy and don't have time, to at least say, "hey I can't talk right now, but I'll text you later." Its polite and considerate. It doesn't leave the other person hanging. But he was neither polite, nor considerate about these sort of things. Even still, I persevered. Some guys just don't communicate well, after all.

We had other conversations as well. It turns out he likes movies I don't. He was also a bit of a pessimist, which doesn't exactly go well with my optimism. Right now the red flags should raise and warning bells should ding. Through texting I am learning little bits of information that make it seem as though we are opposites. But you know what they say, opposites attract...so I thought, I'll meet him first. Maybe we'll connect despite these things.

So then the day comes when he asks me if I had plans on Friday night. I said no and he asked if I could hang out (if he had asked if I could kick it, let me tell you, I was out the door!). I said sure and so ensued a very interesting conversation where he asks me if I would pose for pictures smoking (for a good cause) so he could create a Truth campaign about the negative effects of smoking. Interesting project - not an interesting way to meet someone for the first time. Sort of creepy actually. I followed proper Internet-safety protocol and told him I couldn't meet him under those circumstances because I felt uneasy about it. He asked how he could make me feel more safe (kudos to him for this, I suppose) and I said we'd need to meet in a public place. He agreed. However, he wanted to meet at 10pm at Starbucks....which is a little late for me...especially since online dating 101 warns against meeting late at night. So I asked if we could meet earlier and he agreed. I then asked another question: if we could meet at a Starbucks more in-between our locations (the one he wanted to meet at was pretty far from me)....and true to his complete inability to finish a conversation, he never answered back. Not exactly the best time to leave a girl hanging!

So our big meet is supposed to be tonight. Except I don't really know where we are meeting. I text him to confirm today, but it's been 6 hours and I've gotten no text message back. I think it's officially time to call this one off. I mean I suppose I can deal with the open-ended conversations (to a point) and that we are opposites can be overlooked...but, you're really going to leave me hanging as to whether or not we are actually going to hang out? Especially on a Friday night? Really?

Bottom line? The guy doesn't value my time. If he did, he'd have taken the 5 seconds it takes to text me back and say yes or no. He wouldn't leave me wondering whether or not we'd actually be getting together...making me wait until the last minute and then letting me know we are a go. I value my time and I value other people's time. I'd never do it and I don't think I'm going to put up with someone doing it to me. Add this to his lack of ability to communicate and our apparent opposite tastes...and well...

Sorry Jared, but I think it's time I kick you to the curb...