I think it's become sort of a tradition to start out with my more interesting messages. And if you knew me in real life, you'd know I am not one to break traditions. So...

"I give GOD the praise to know that there are people in this site that really take Christianity serious. It brings joy to know I have a someone to understand my Born Again language.
I will like to know you more, and if you think the same, you just a few words to my mail box.
I know that there is what they call scamming? But there is only ONE (1) pastor Fabian in Cameroon. May the LORD GOD of heaven, decorate you with the dew of blessings for this season. JESUS is LORD" I don't even know what to say. The guy literally rendered me speechless. Although I will say I didn't realize that "Born Again" was a language. And whatever disillusions this poor soul is under...I definitely don't understand the language. It's not only Greek to me, it's weird Greek. It's like, crazy, psychopath Greek. I didn't have the heart to email him back and tell him that mostly Born Again Christians just freak me out.

One guy emailed me and called me ma'am. And while that sort of think might work if you see me in person, have a southern accent, and are tipping your cowboy hat in my direction, otherwise it just makes me feel old - difficult to do, as I am only 25.

But seriously. The guys that give me the most headaches are the ones who just say "hi." Because of my new dating rules (all 4 of them) I now reply to those guys who just say hi. And then it becomes very painful when we exchange one sentence emails back and forth. It almost makes me wish for the guys who wrote weird, but at least entertaining, messages. Ah, the grass is always greener right?

Alright, but enough of that crap. I have two updates for you.

1.) The one guy I am talking to now (who does not live in TX anyway, which is a whole other story), is well...driving me crazy. No one is that positive about life. And this is coming from me, a person who (despite all evidence to the contrary) is pretty positive. And the guy is a little very cocky. So why am I letting this charade continue? Well...I don't really know. Masochism maybe?

2.) Mr. Gotham City and I went on a date.

And now the fun begins....

Well, first of all, if I hadn't talked with Gotham City previously, I'd have thought he was gay when I first met him. I actually am secretly wondering if his strong objections to the gay population is mere homophobia that stems from the fact that he secretly is gay. In which case, man I really know how to pick them. But for the sake of this blog, lets pretend he is in fact straight and I can continue my story....

So we go to the Denver Zoo Lights, which is something I have always wanted to do on a date. Although, when I imagined it, we were strolling through the lights, not walking at lightening speed. Which we were in fact doing. And we started out with typical conversation...until he mentioned that Colorado is not only a liberal state, but way too feminist. Yeah. That didn't really go over so well with me. But I was polite. I held my tongue. So the date continues and suddenly I am hearing about how college is the anti-Christ and it is evil and has gotten away from teaching people the values of Christ. And even though religion, money and politics are forbidden subjects on the first date...well, I couldn't help myself. So we gotten into a discussion about God. I politely listened and asked questions about his views (while secretly mocking him my head - which sounds mean, but I swear if you heard what I heard, you'd be mocking him to. Just admit it to yourself and we can move on).

And if his views of Christianity weren't weird (and uneducated) enough, he soon divulged his beliefs about the government. That's right ladies and gents... a bona-fide conspiracy theorist. And here I really had to work hard at not laughing. Also, he seriously believed he wasn't a judgmental person (although I am not sure where his definition of judgmental comes from, given that he is completely text-book judgmental) And of course he also let me know that I was too smart for my own good. And if everything else didn't cinch my belief that this was a one-time date, that comment certainly did.

I am trying to decide if Gotham City was worse than creepy stare guy. No...I guess not. At least I had an interesting conversation with Gotham City. Or, really, any conversation at all. Of course I had to work hard to keep the conversation going. That's right, if I wasn't asking questions or he wasn't explaining his bizarre views on something, we weren't talking. I don't think he asked me a single personal question all night. I don't know why it is so hard for people to ask about the other person. I mean, in my upcoming profession its a requirement, and really, it's always come naturally for me....but I can't imagine its that hard otherwise. I mean seriously.

I almost pulled out the bat signal and messaged my best friend to save me, but I didn't call for reinforcements. I just debated the existence of God with him instead (which was fun...for me anyway). I argued that the "soul" could be explained by science (the neocortex of the brain) and that spouted off a whole bunch of random scientific facts that don't exactly point to God. He didn't like this very much (and this apparently further proved his point that college was a tool of Satan teaching untrue things about God). I, of course, believe in God, Christ and having a soul...but it was fun to see him squirm for a moment...you know, using my too-smart brain, which was developed at Satan's school with all of his evil tools of persuasion. Needless to say, any chance of romance was over long before this conversation started (I'm not completely stupid. I do, in fact, know how to act on a first date).

So while it was an unsuccessful evening I definitely learned a few things. One, no crazy Christians for me. Two, no conservatives and three, no conspiracy theorists. Oh, and while we didn't talk about it, I am pretty sure he'd want me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen when the time came...and since I am a feminist, I think I'm going to have to require my next date at least believe in feminism and think it is an okay thing.

So that's it from the desk of this online dater.
Lets just hope the next entry is as entertaining :-)

-PJ