I have not been all that active in the dating world. I actually met a guy and went out on a date. I had a great time and he did too (or so he said)...but just two days later he told me he didn't think we should go out again. It was a sting, but I'll tell you - he was straight up honest and he spelled it out nice and plain (no wishy-washy crap there). Now that's something i can respect.

But now....well, OLD has taken a back seat. It's a tiring process. I work 40 hours a week and am in school. If I am going to put time and energy into something, it needs to be worth it. And so far, OLD hasn't been. Instead, I have actually just been really focused on me right now, which I think is good. Of course, that doesn't mean guys still don't write me. I'll share:

This guy has written me three times (huh, you'd think after not recieveing a reply the first time he'd have gotten the message!)

Message 1: "im 22 . looking for everything realtionships,dateing ect... hey cutie whats up? hows life?"
Message 2: "dam cute n great smile ;) holla backs plz dont be shy ss"
Message 3: "hey cutie wuts up? hows life? hollla backs n lets talk ! dont be shy."

I dont mind telling you half of this guys profile name: SlickNick...because I think its funny. I don't think girls want a "slick" guy cause it implies a certain amount of playerness...and well, I dont really want a player. But SN is 22, which I specifically state in my profile 23 is my youngest age for guys...so clearly we are dealing with someone who doesn't read the directions - never a good sign. And I have never been one for the pet name "cutie" it just sounds so.....high school. And makes me sound like some freshman girl (please, Im 25!). And holla backs? Really? Seriously? Oh, and dude, I'm not shy, I'm just not interested.

Alright, that was the only worthy one of mocking. The rest weren't half bad. Not great, either, but not half bad. Actually my real reason for the blog today was the email I got from Okcupid last night:

"We are very pleased to report that you are in the top half of OkCupid's most attractive users. The scales recently tipped in your favor, and we thought you'd like to know.

How can we say this with confidence? We've tracked click-thrus on your photo and analyzed other people's reactions to you in QuickMatch and Quiver.

. . .
Your new elite status comes with one important privilege:

You will now see more attractive people in your match results.

This new status won't affect your actual match percentages, which are still based purely on your answers and desired match's answers. But the people we recommend will be more attractive. Also! You'll be shown to more attractive people in their match results.

. . .
Suddenly, the world is your oyster. Login now and reap the rewards. And, no, we didn't just send this email to everyone on OkCupid. Go ask an ugly friend and see.

Wow. Where to start? It's kind of insulting. I think. I mean, I've never been considered one of the beautiful people and I am truly ok with that. I think the insulting part is actually that people who aren't considered "attractive" are going to get less attractive matches. I mean what does that really say about okcupid (hello - Shallow!)? Or society for that matter. I guess I know it's part of society - the beautiful people tend to date/marry the beautiful people, and the rest of us are out to fend for something a little less pretty (and probably a whole lot less shallow, so really, we probably win anyway). But do we really have to carry over this kind of shallow thought process onto a dating website? Really? Who is this helping?

I guess I should be flattered that I will now be getting more attractive matches, but somehow I'm not. I've always seen myself marrying some kind of nerdy guy (like nbc's chuck) or something...definitely not Malibu barbie's ex.

Besides, while I do think I am pretty, I think my profile picture makes me look a whole lot prettier than I spend most days looking. No, I didnt retouch it or anything, but it happened to be an instance of perfect lighting (and a good hair/makeup day)...so it really doesn't feel like the real me...more like the barbazon version of me.

Most days I were far less makeup (some days none at all). So by this picture I may be voted on as attractive, but in real life? I'm just me. So here is the real scenario: I get matched with all these more attractive guys, who are expecting this girl. And they may get her for date night and occasionally thereafter...but much beyond that, probably not so much. So they are disappointed and feeling I am not so attractive, and because people can be a bit shallow when it comes to looks (yes, I know, not all people)...well, there will be heartache. (And it probably wont add to my self-esteem any).

I may be over stating it. Maybe it wouldn't happen like that. I just think it's more likely to happen when you lump a kind of ordinary girl in with all the "attractive" people. And I am sure I am not the only one reading this email and thinking that. Or maybe I am. Who knows.

My point? Online dating was fun for awhile and it makes for a good antic-dote, but I think I'll just continue to work on me. And like Michael Buble says, "I might have to wait, I'll never give up, I guess it's half timing, and the other half's luck, Wherever you are, whenever it's right, You'll come out of nowhere and into my life"


-PJ