Ever since I have started online dating, I have seen things I can't unseen. The things I've read or heard from men have really been enough to lose faith in the whole of the male species. I really thought by now I'd heard it all. Submission, domination, fetishes, dick pics, proclamations of undying love, cuddle buddies and friends with benefits.... but this guy....
So this guy messages me, "How crazy are you?" So I think, oh boy, just another guy looking for another weird sexual something. And I go to his profile and sure enough....
(and yes, I realize this side of me is exactly why I have heard and seen it all and lost faith in dating and romance and love). So here is his answer.......
So...that's a new one.
And apparently, to him, kids are nothing serious. That's sightly frightening. I politely declined, but now I am sort of wishing I had held onto this conversation. Not because I am interested in having a baby with a random stranger who thinks kids are some casual thing...but because I'd love to know this baby daddy's plan. How do we raise this kid? Co-parenting? Do we share family events? And who pays for things? Split it down the middle, going halfsies? Do you just want to be a part-time daddy? Why do you even want kids? All good questions that I'd love to know the answers to. Mostly, I really just wonder why on earth he would go about having a kid this way, but I suppose it makes a kind of sense. It's certainly cheaper and faster than adoption or finding a surrogate. It is consensual and there is the added bonus of not having to be tied down in a marriage or relationship, cause it's just for funsies.
Now I really do think I've heard it all.
-PJ
(@plainjanedating)
You know when they say be open to the universe and it will
provide? Well, what they don’t tell you is what
they provide. I’ve had a stream of bad lately. Like, every guy who messages me
is….creepy. there is no other word to describe them. I know the good guys
exist; I have heard about them, but they seem to be like unicorns – pretty to
look at and imaginary. FML.
Here is the thing. I don’t think that within the first week
you should be asking for body pictures (clothed or otherwise). Last night I had
this guy tell me he loved my curves (I have a fully clothed, picture of myself
on my profile because I’m not skinny and I certainly don’t want to mislead
anyone). That’s nice, I think to myself, and then….”can you take more pictures
of your body?” – enter face palm here – Come on. Why? Why make it like that not
even ten minutes after we start talking? You had potential (well, he was 5’2,
so he had some potential; I’d like to
say I am not shallow, but I also know height matters to me). Why go and ruin a
perfectly good conversation by asking me for more body shots? (And ps, he just
messaged me, “hey sexy.” *eye roll*)
I was thinking about the conundrum the other day and I have realized that it all about being a gentleman. People believe they are nice gentlemen (note to self, look up "gentlemen" and research it); they say they are a gentleman because they open doors and walk you to the car, and buy you dinner (and an End Game guy might have flowers or chocolates too). Well you know? All of that IS nice. But that it.........That's just nice. My 4 years old nephew has these habits. Its not hard.
So why can't all men do these small gestures of kindnesses.I was thinking about the conundrum the other day and I have realized that it all about being a gentleman. People believe they are nice gentlemen (note to self, look up "gentlemen" and research it); they say they are a gentleman because they open doors and walk you to the car, and buy you dinner (and an End Game guy might have flowers or chocolates too). Well you know? All of that IS nice. But that it.........That's just nice. My 4 years old nephew has these habits. Its not hard.
Yesterday I had a poor guy tell me (when I asked what he
liked to do for fun) that he likes NFL games and hopefully I would too (I
wouldn’t) and he liked playing Call of Duty, but he would stop if I didn’t like
that. I went back and read his profile a little bit closer. Poor guy. It reads
like he has gone through a lot of rejection and has lost all sense of self. And
that made me sad because that happened to me once upon a time and it’s not a
good place to be. So I messaged him back and told him (as nicely as I could,
because this really was coming from the heart) that he shouldn’t apologize for
who he is, what he likes, and he shouldn’t change and mold himself to be
whatever a woman wants him to be. He said thanks for being honest. That guy is
going to be some girl’s doormat all of this life.
-PJ(@plainjanedating)