"Would it be tired and uninteresting to say, "There's nothing plain about you, Jane!"
Yes, yes I think it would, but still, it's just so fun to say. I like rhymes. By the way, is there a good way I can use "plane" in place of "plain"? I feel like there's something fun there and I'm just not seeing it. Wait, I've got it. Ahem, "There's nothing plane about you, Jane!"
Uh, you see in this this sense plane refers to a two dimensional space, and I'm trying to say you seem very multidimensional. Anyway, I better put a stop to this before I really humiliate myself ah, too late.."

I am not quite sure how one writes this thinking its going to go well. I mean, at best, I think you are really nerdy (at worst, I think you're insane). And while I like a little nerd mixed in my man, I am not a fan of big nerd, and this email just screams it. What I find even more humorous is that in this guy's profile he says he is a normal guy, but his profile actually reads a lot like his message to me. read: not normal.

Ah, well, points for trying.


In other news...

One of the normal guys I am talking to may not be normal at all. His emails are a little...off. I have talked about it before - how he seems to stretch the truth. I just answered his last email and sort of called him on it in the politest way I could. We'll see what he comes up with next.

As I mentioned briefly in the last blog, Mr. Gotham City and I are still talking. Before I was really annoyed by his complete vagueness, but now he seems to be opening up, which is good. We've gotten to know each other and we agreed that we'd meet sometime over the next few weeks (I am on break from school). So I'll have an update about that one soon. What's hard about Gotham is that I have sort of gotten attached. So if it doesn't work out, I will be bummed (just like with sexy pants). The whole point of this dating challenge was to only going on first dates so I didn't get attached (or have to feel bummed if it didn't work) and just meet a bunch of people. But this goes against my nature, of course (I'm an introvert at heart) - perhaps its why I am having trouble with it. I haven't gotten attached to any of the new guys though. Although, in my mind there is precious little to get attached too. Now that I have been doing it a couple of weeks, I don't necessarily know that this dating challenge is going to be wonderful. Especially if I can't get excited about the guys I am talking to. How am I supposed to be excited about a date if I sort of could care less if I continue talking to them??? Hmmmm. Maybe I am just not the no-attachment kind of gal needed to just randomly date lots of guys. Something to mull over, I think.

Ah, well..... until next time.

-PJ

p.s. I have decided when people add you to their favorites, but don't try talking to you, its really, really creepy. Like stalking. So men, take note. It's creepy, stalking-like behavior. And you should refrain from doing it!

I have been talking to a couple of guys lately.

One that lives in Texas....he breaks one of my cardinal rules: not being geographically desirable...but I am SO curious as to how it will play out. I mean, what makes a guy message a girl who lives several states away? What exactly is he hoping to get out of this? And so...we talk. He seems really nice. I almost with he lived near me.

The second guy I am talking about seems pretty cocky. He does, however meet my four rules, so this is why we are talking. But he brags a lot. And a lot of what he says doesn't make a whole lot of sense....like the lines just don't connect. I am not sure if he is lying or stretching the truth...but something about him doesn't scream genuine. I will probably go on a date anyway. You know, my challenge and all.

And Mr. Gotham City is back. Things seems to be going well.

But the person I want to talk about I am NOT talking to. The creep factor is high. But I want to call attention to his profile picture - which is posted below (and I am posting it only because his face is obscured). So feast your eyes on this one:




Talk about creepy. I'd love to message this guy, and ask him what in the world he could possibly be thinking posting this picture. If it weren't creepy enough that he has a gigantic gun, he had to go ahead and post a picture where his face is completely covered up. I mean, how could he think this would be a good picture to post? How could he possible think that it would be a winning shot [pun intended]. I mean, these dating sites stress being ultra careful about who you meet - and who exactly is going to want to go on a date with this guy? Although maybe he is taking the obvious approach. I mean the best serial killers look completely normal - so maybe he thinks by posting this he is throwing off suspicion??? Ah, who knows.

But seriously.
Creepy.

-PJ

Alright, so I know I gave myself the challenge of chatting up every guy and going on dates whenever possible. This is harder than I imagined. I have gotten plenty of messages - but when I look at their profiles the attraction piece is missing. This should make me feel shallow, but it doesn't. I mean, attraction is important. It just is. *shrugs* Here are a list of some of my...more quality...messages

"My name is John." - Yes, that was it. Literally. And what makes it funnier is that his screen-name is his name plus a couple of numbers. So, even without the grand intro, I already knew his name. Sort of makes his message useless huh?

And then I got a message from a guy that said
"Just wanted to say hi." and when I wrote him back, he never replied. I guess he, quite literally, just wanted to say hi.

I also recieved a message from a 37 year old man that told me I had a great profile and he hoped we could chat sometime. I guess I should have mentioned my fourth requirement in my previous blog - age..... between the ages of 23-29 (I'm 25). Because 37 is too old for me to date. In a creepy kind of way.

But my favorite message was this one:

"Hey there!!
Well to start off I am..
5'10
220LBS..
1/ 2 Hawaiian 1/2 Mexican
Stocky/Athletic...division II football
Single, Light brown eyes,Short jet black hair, Straight white teeth
Clear complexion ( NO facial hair ) Dress very Nice
Caring
Honest
Faithful
Passionate
Intelligent
Very Funny
UNC (Business/Marketing)
Nightclub/Bar Manager
Downtown Denver,(xxx)-xxx-xxxx (yes, he actually gave me his #)
Never been married
33 years old..

I hope I intrigued your interest

CL (full name ommited to protect the guilty)
Ps
I hope you like what you see"

Oh boy.
It's like one of those spec lists you read when trying to determine what a piece of electronic equipment to buy. So...am I in the market for a boy-robot? No, I don't think so. And, apparently, among his litany of "qualities" he forgot to mention he can't read. I mean, perhaps I am making an assumption on this one, but I have good reason - it DOES state on my profile that I am interested in guys ages 23-29.....and he is 33. Ah, maybe it's just an oversight. Well, aside from the age thing (because in all honesty, I could probably accept 33 if the guy was a real catch), he is not attractive. In fact, he doesn't even look 33. More like 43. And even if we were going the non-shallow route (and I am, I promise)...I was sort of hoping for an email that didn't read like like a spec list. I mean, how hard is it to write a decent message? (Apparently, very hard). No, it wasn't just the message either. He wasn't intriguing. At least not for me.

I did, however, receive a message from a guy ("Pool Guy" I am dubbing him). Though he seems like a good guy (for far), he is unemployed. Which does not thrill me. But, as part of my challenge, I am determined not to care. He meets every other requirement. So. We are messaging. Perhaps if we can get past that, we'll go out for a date.

No more dinners though. Too much pressure. I am beginning to think going out for drinks is the way to go. That way, if it ends up being really uncomfortable (anyone remember creepy stare guy?), I have alcohol to ease the suffering ;-)

Well, until next time
-PJ

Goodness, it's been awhile. And things have happened haven't they? I guess it's time for a PJ update....

Mr. Gotham City and I sort of broke ties after he freaked out about me not calling him back when i said I would. Oh, and because I was busy with friends on another night he wanted to call me. I guess we all have our insecurities and his came shining through. So I said good-bye. I have my own insecurities to worry about - I can't spend time tending to his.

There was another guy - Sexy Pants...and I thought, maybe. I mean, he seemed decent enough to me. Smart, witty, nice, gave me tons of compliments. But after meeting me (and being quite charming on the date and paying my a lip-service of compliments during) he suddenly had issues with his ex and had to say adiós [through text message, how classy]. I think he was lying about the ex, just to ...ah, how do they say it? Let me down gently? ... It felt like a let down [read: rejection]. That and I saw him online on my dating website two days ago. Clearly things aren't so up in the air with the ex that he can't stroll for girls online. Ah, well, his loss, not mine [okay, yes, it was disappointing, but you win some, you lose some].

Well, I cannot seem to break the first date streak, which I find incredibly annoying. I am just a girl looking for a guy. I just want to [eventually] find my own love story. Some people keep saying my expectations are too high, but I promise they aren't. All I want is a second date. But maybe THAT is too high of an expectation?Who would have thought? I mean, its only date two. It's not like I am asking for a ring or anything. I mean, I already have the ring... [oh, calm down - that was just a joke. It's an heirloom].Well, anyway. I have a new plan.

I think I am going to just go out with any respectable guy that asks. Yes. Even if he calls me sexy pants or some other ridiculous name. Or uses some really cheesy pick-up line. Why am I doing this when I have so adamantly mocked these fellows before? Clearly I just need to go out on a lot of [first] dates. Screw standards or being serious about this. The one? Who cares about finding the elusive "one" or my own love story. For right now. I am just going to live in the moment. Date [a lot]. Just really get knee-deep into it; challenge my introverted self. So. It's the first-date challenge. No expectations, no hopes or wishes for a second date. And a perk? I am bound to meet lots of guys and have plenty of stories to tell - of which I will do here.

I only have 3 standards:
a.) they must be geographically desirable (yes, I was propositioned in South Dakota the other day)
b.) they have to be at least decent looking. I am no Kate Moss, but I think I am pretty enough.
c.) sex cannot be his main objective. Because it certainly isn't mine.

And so this is it...the first date challenge [ah, this sort of sounds like the plot to a really bad teen-romance movie]. Cue the inspiring music.

Here I go.

-PJ

Cool guy and I are still talking. Mr. Gotham City my friends and I call him. He is cute and nice. We having been texting about a week. I don't know when we'll meet. We haven't really hashed that out. He lives about 30 minutes south of me - the only negative so far - and only because almost everything I do, I do 30 minutes north of me...which is like an hour drive to hang out with my friends or go to church with me (not that we've gotten that far, I'm just saying in a hypothetical situation). Who knows what will happen.

At this moment, I am more interested in talking about this guy who indicated he wanted to meet me (a new plentyoffish feature that I find rather annoying. Now instead of sending a message, they can just click a button that says they want to meet me. Well great - so what? You want to meet me...and??? ah, but I digress).

Here is this guys profile. My comments are in bold today. (as a pre-cursor...he is divorced. and really, its not hard to see why....and how that probably was a key ingredient to the creation of this profile....so enjoy)

What happened to women wanting a man that won't cheat, treat them with respect, is very stable, has a great personality, and can make you laugh at all times? I have met very few women on this site that are not superficial ****'s.wow. what a way to start a profile off. I've known you less than a minute and I already know you have some deep seeded issues about women. makes me want to keep reading

Too blunt for you? no, but possibly a little too honest/revealing for YOU Move on. seriously tempting

"I don't do drugs but I am 420 friendly" Give me a break, pot is a drug and if you can't smoke it and realize that you are a fool. great opinion, actually one I think too....but again, may not be the best forum to discuss your [obvious] issues with pot smoking.

I am NOT 420 friendly nor am I crack, coke, LSD, meth or any other illegal drug friendly so go away. so go away? I mean, this will definitely make a drug user get off your profile page quickly - then again, it probably will make everyone else go away too. Lets face it, the only reason I am still here is so I can put you on the mocking block later. Not a good sign for you

Why do women on this site say that their kid or kid's are the number one priority in their life? If the men on this site are not intelligent enough to already know that they are a waste of skin. So can we please cut back a bit on the "my kid is number 1"? ;)so now you've offended the drug users and the single moms. Dude, you are turning out to be a real catch.

I would guess if you are still reading this you would guess I am a very angry person. you took the words right out of my mouth That is the farthest thing from the truth wow. buddy. can we say denial?so say hello and let us rock this ****! gee, and after such a lovely written, heartfelt profile...I think I'll pass


Oh....oh boy. I don't think such an angry man should be dating. It says he is divorced. I may not be a licensed therapist [yet] but I am going to go ahead and say that his unresolved issued should probably get resolved first. Clearly he has many of them. With drug users, mothers, men, people in general. I just don't understand how you write a profile like this and honestly think you are going to win someone over - I mean...I would never even meet a guy who sounded this angry. I might eat my pasta the wrong way at dinner and he'd attack me with a butter knife. Yikes!


Ah, plentyoffish. You never disappoint.

-PJ

Well, I've done it. I've caved. I know I said I'd never pay for dating - but I joined eharmony.com. *sigh* Not that paying is a bad thing - it just says 'desperate' to me. But I guess it's not really. Quality vs Quantity and all. Perhaps eharmony will deliver. Although, from what I've seen so far...well....

Anyway. My message tonight comes not from eharmony, but from everybody's favorite: okcupid.com. This is the site where all but one of my lovely stories comes from. Real choice guys here....and because I just was left a little speechless by this guy (I swear he as ADD or something).....

"Hi there! You the age your profile says Or did you lie to make a profile here? uh...well aside from the horrible English. Why would I lie? And do my pictures really make me look under 18. Let me answer that - no they don't. If your the age your profile says, would you be available to get to know and talk to as a friend online? well, I am not lying. I am, in fact, my age. And I gotta say, friend, I'm not really feeling like our friendship would survive. You did just ask me straight off if I was a liar. Someone has issues in this friendship and it's not me.Or do you base that on looks as well as age? I was so tempted to go look at his picture when I read this line. I resisted....wait. But now I am curious.......wow and suddenly it all makes sense. Why no bf? well, gee, friend, I don't know. It must be my young age that's the problem. Or maybe all that lying.what do you do for a living? Or are you in school still? remember when my profile said both what I did for a living and that I was in school. Remember that??? Do you use any messengers to talk on, since doubtdful you wouldn't text a guy interested in you huh? yeah...no I don't instant message people. And I don't give out my phone number to creepy people. And besides all that, you used a double negative - implying I would text you. English isn't your strong suit is it? How often you online? how is this relevant to anything? Care to add me as a friend to talk on myspace Im if your available....uh, my trampy little sister told me that myspace was the new booty call."

Oh man. It was hard to read it the first time. And the second time I was just shaking my head. Now, I know from experience that it's hard to strike up a conversation, so props for that. But seriously...if you are going to....try not to accuse them of lying right off the bat. Oh. And leave all your issues at the door. I don't have to be an almost-therapist to know you have unresolved feelings toward your last 'friend' and text message buddy. Seriously.

Another guy messaged me (different site, same old story) and asked me if I were dating a guy if I would reconsider the whole sex before marriage thing. Yeah buddy. Just for you, I'll consider it. *rolls eyes* Why would I reconsider it just because I'm dating someone? The whole point is waiting until AFTER marriage, not during dating. I am not just trying to avoid being a first-date slut or something. There are some faith-based principles here. Did I not make that clear when I talked about God being important in my life?

On a more pleasant note. On a different website (a Christian one) I am talking with a guy (notice I'm not myspacing him) who seems pretty cool. I will keep you updated.

Until then......
-Sarah

There was potential.
At least on paper. Which, I think, is half the problem with online dating. Because someone can seem so great on paper, but when you meet them - it's...well...not great.

This is the case for me. Yes. I had a date with a guy. I didn't say much about it to anyone (except my best friend - because a.) I need a little support and b.) if the guy turned out to be a serial killer, i wanted at least one person to know who the guy was and where to start looking). Anyway, the date was with this guy, who I'm going to refer to as "Mr. Personality" and since I often name guys in a mocking way, that should give you some idea as to how this played out.

So we get there and its awkward. And that, I think, is normal. So we start chatting. I think he thinks my personalized license plate it weird. He made some comment about how he has never seen anyone put their nickname on a license plate - the tone wasn't joking or conversational...it was sort of judgy. Of course now would be the perfect time for me to mention that what's on my license plate is not, in fact, my nickname (he just assumed). But I digress.

So, the waitress asks inside or outside. He doesn't say anything. For a moment it's like the crickets chirp. So finally I say 'inside' and for the rest of the night he keeps looking outside and comments on how awesome the outside patio is. Well, if you wanted to sit outside, you should have said something! The waitress was asking YOU! Oi vey.

So we sit down (chivalry may just be dead, no pulling my chair out or whatever those chivalrous guys are supposed to do). And we sort of glance over the menu and he asks me a couple questions and I ask him a few. And he orders us an eggplant appetizer (he didn't ask if I wanted it, he just ordered it). And the questions kind of continue. But its like if he asks a question and I give him an answer, there is no follow up, or any really interest. Thats just the end of it. It's like obligatory that he asks whatever he asks and then that's it. And when I ask a question, he'll answer...but when I try with the follow up questions (I, fortunately, do have conversation skills) he sort of gives like unpassionate, answers that last about three seconds and then...silence.....

And then there is the whole eye contact thing. I like eye contact. I think it's important in a conversation. But his was uncomfortable. Intense. Really intense. And in the silent moments it was like he was just intensely staring at me. And not in that romantic way that makes you get all gooey, like the guy only has eyes for you. Like in that way that makes you feel all squirmy and your brain shuts down because your so focused on the uncomfortable, never ceasing look that you can't think of anything else to say.

So dinner was awkward. And we skipped dessert. In fact, thinking back, he ate really fast. And I boxed up half my dinner. And then we walked outside (oh, yes, he paid, which was nice) and then we gave a quick hug and that was it. I imagine, if I was me, watching myself from a far, I'd have thought I couldn't have gotten out of there quick enough. Which is so true - because I couldn't have.

So Mr. Personality is not a go. I don't know how I feel about that. I mean, I wasn't as excited about this date as I was with the guy from before (and I don't mean to compare the two - just to say that I was more intrigued by the other guy before I met him...and our date went about a thousand times better). I guess I am a little bummed that it wasn't an awesome date and there is no potential for future dates...but on the overall, I'm ok with it.

I haven't been left hopeless though. I think someday my prince will come (sorry, that was a movie quote). Although the one other guy that has been emailing me just told me he has no plans to return to Colorado (he moved for awhile for work). Honestly though, if you knew that was the case, why start a conversation with me anyway? But I'm going to keep on keeping on with this OLD thing...maybe one day....

of course I'd still prefer the 'eyes meet from across the room' sort of thing...but I guess, for now, I'll take what I can get.

-PJ