So I have sort of taken a mini-break from OLD for a little bit. I just needed some space from all the people out there who can’t spell or make intelligent conversation (or any conversation, really). The poor guys I have been talking to must think I’ve dropped off the face of the earth. Ah, well, none of them were exactly winners. Texas guy was nice, but lived in Texas. The One-Upper was far too cocky for my taste. Nothing to lament. But I got on today and since I was bored at work I started looking at a few profiles. I have two favorites to put on the mocking block….

1.) This guy states he is 4’6 and has lost 7 teeth, isn’t remotely funny, and writes lots of other things that are of similar fashion. Clearly he is trying to be sarcastic, maybe he thinks he is funny? There is such a thing as being OVERLY sarcastic though. I mean, there is a point where it is just over-the-top annoying. This guy reached it in the first paragraph…but then he goes on for about five more.

2.)This guy states “Either way I feel I should inform you that I have the three things that women want." (oh boy, I am intrigued - because we women all want the exact same three things). "I’m hot, and I’m smart.” Uh…where is the third thing? Well, buddy, I really don't think you are as smart as you seem to think you are. You can’t even count to three. And I was really looking forward to finding out what that third thing was. Darn.

I did get an email from yet another guy living in Texas (what is it with people in that state?). I don’t understand it. He seemed pretty nice though. Too bad he lives in Texas. I got a couple of emails from soldiers currently in Iraq, wanting to email until they return home and then go out. I guess a guy close to home is too much to ask for?

A guy friend of mine is also doing online dating. He seems to be having trouble too. So apparently it’s not just the general stupidity of the male gender. It's just the general stupidity of the human species (this doesn't make me feel much better). I guess we just gotta keep keep on keeping on though. Eventually someone will come along (I hope).


-PJ

I am convinced when a guy says that he really looks forward to chatting and for us to get to know each other, what he really means is that he is looking forward to getting to talk about himself for an entire night. Case and point...the guy I am currently IM'ing (as we speak) is devilish hard to have a conversation with. I mean, if we aren't talking about him, we aren't talking. If I don't ask him a question about himself 10 minutes can go by without chatter. But he was so incredibly interested in getting to know me. Hmmm... this isn't the first guy to do this either. Is this a male trait I am just not aware of? A complete inability to ask a girl questions about her life, but a complete ability to talk about himself for long periods of time? I mean, I know its in my nature to ask questions, I've always been a curious girl that asks more questions than I answer...but come on...when 10 minutes can go by, this is no longer about my curious nature and more about his narcissism.

I am officially opting out of one of my matches: Chatterbox, as I have officially named him. He and I couldn't get past one sentence emails and though mine always included a question, his did not. I don't mind working a little to get a conversation going, but seriously. It was painful. So, bye, bye chatterbox.

And while we are on the subject of conversation....my least favorite phrase in the history of online dating is "tell me about yourself." Ugh. What exactly am I going to say? "Hi, my name is PJ, I'm a Gemini and I like long walks on the beach at sunset?"(And yes, I did email that to someone, if your curious). I mean really? Ask me a question and I'll answer it...but don't leave it so open ended! Ah, that's just a pet-peeve I suppose.

Alright, clearly I'm in a little bit of a ranting mood tonight. This guy I am IM'ing is just boring me to tears. Luckily Tebow and I are txting...he is funny at least.

Until next time,
-PJ

I think it's become sort of a tradition to start out with my more interesting messages. And if you knew me in real life, you'd know I am not one to break traditions. So...

"I give GOD the praise to know that there are people in this site that really take Christianity serious. It brings joy to know I have a someone to understand my Born Again language.
I will like to know you more, and if you think the same, you just a few words to my mail box.
I know that there is what they call scamming? But there is only ONE (1) pastor Fabian in Cameroon. May the LORD GOD of heaven, decorate you with the dew of blessings for this season. JESUS is LORD" I don't even know what to say. The guy literally rendered me speechless. Although I will say I didn't realize that "Born Again" was a language. And whatever disillusions this poor soul is under...I definitely don't understand the language. It's not only Greek to me, it's weird Greek. It's like, crazy, psychopath Greek. I didn't have the heart to email him back and tell him that mostly Born Again Christians just freak me out.

One guy emailed me and called me ma'am. And while that sort of think might work if you see me in person, have a southern accent, and are tipping your cowboy hat in my direction, otherwise it just makes me feel old - difficult to do, as I am only 25.

But seriously. The guys that give me the most headaches are the ones who just say "hi." Because of my new dating rules (all 4 of them) I now reply to those guys who just say hi. And then it becomes very painful when we exchange one sentence emails back and forth. It almost makes me wish for the guys who wrote weird, but at least entertaining, messages. Ah, the grass is always greener right?

Alright, but enough of that crap. I have two updates for you.

1.) The one guy I am talking to now (who does not live in TX anyway, which is a whole other story), is well...driving me crazy. No one is that positive about life. And this is coming from me, a person who (despite all evidence to the contrary) is pretty positive. And the guy is a little very cocky. So why am I letting this charade continue? Well...I don't really know. Masochism maybe?

2.) Mr. Gotham City and I went on a date.

And now the fun begins....

Well, first of all, if I hadn't talked with Gotham City previously, I'd have thought he was gay when I first met him. I actually am secretly wondering if his strong objections to the gay population is mere homophobia that stems from the fact that he secretly is gay. In which case, man I really know how to pick them. But for the sake of this blog, lets pretend he is in fact straight and I can continue my story....

So we go to the Denver Zoo Lights, which is something I have always wanted to do on a date. Although, when I imagined it, we were strolling through the lights, not walking at lightening speed. Which we were in fact doing. And we started out with typical conversation...until he mentioned that Colorado is not only a liberal state, but way too feminist. Yeah. That didn't really go over so well with me. But I was polite. I held my tongue. So the date continues and suddenly I am hearing about how college is the anti-Christ and it is evil and has gotten away from teaching people the values of Christ. And even though religion, money and politics are forbidden subjects on the first date...well, I couldn't help myself. So we gotten into a discussion about God. I politely listened and asked questions about his views (while secretly mocking him my head - which sounds mean, but I swear if you heard what I heard, you'd be mocking him to. Just admit it to yourself and we can move on).

And if his views of Christianity weren't weird (and uneducated) enough, he soon divulged his beliefs about the government. That's right ladies and gents... a bona-fide conspiracy theorist. And here I really had to work hard at not laughing. Also, he seriously believed he wasn't a judgmental person (although I am not sure where his definition of judgmental comes from, given that he is completely text-book judgmental) And of course he also let me know that I was too smart for my own good. And if everything else didn't cinch my belief that this was a one-time date, that comment certainly did.

I am trying to decide if Gotham City was worse than creepy stare guy. No...I guess not. At least I had an interesting conversation with Gotham City. Or, really, any conversation at all. Of course I had to work hard to keep the conversation going. That's right, if I wasn't asking questions or he wasn't explaining his bizarre views on something, we weren't talking. I don't think he asked me a single personal question all night. I don't know why it is so hard for people to ask about the other person. I mean, in my upcoming profession its a requirement, and really, it's always come naturally for me....but I can't imagine its that hard otherwise. I mean seriously.

I almost pulled out the bat signal and messaged my best friend to save me, but I didn't call for reinforcements. I just debated the existence of God with him instead (which was fun...for me anyway). I argued that the "soul" could be explained by science (the neocortex of the brain) and that spouted off a whole bunch of random scientific facts that don't exactly point to God. He didn't like this very much (and this apparently further proved his point that college was a tool of Satan teaching untrue things about God). I, of course, believe in God, Christ and having a soul...but it was fun to see him squirm for a moment...you know, using my too-smart brain, which was developed at Satan's school with all of his evil tools of persuasion. Needless to say, any chance of romance was over long before this conversation started (I'm not completely stupid. I do, in fact, know how to act on a first date).

So while it was an unsuccessful evening I definitely learned a few things. One, no crazy Christians for me. Two, no conservatives and three, no conspiracy theorists. Oh, and while we didn't talk about it, I am pretty sure he'd want me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen when the time came...and since I am a feminist, I think I'm going to have to require my next date at least believe in feminism and think it is an okay thing.

So that's it from the desk of this online dater.
Lets just hope the next entry is as entertaining :-)

-PJ

"Would it be tired and uninteresting to say, "There's nothing plain about you, Jane!"
Yes, yes I think it would, but still, it's just so fun to say. I like rhymes. By the way, is there a good way I can use "plane" in place of "plain"? I feel like there's something fun there and I'm just not seeing it. Wait, I've got it. Ahem, "There's nothing plane about you, Jane!"
Uh, you see in this this sense plane refers to a two dimensional space, and I'm trying to say you seem very multidimensional. Anyway, I better put a stop to this before I really humiliate myself ah, too late.."

I am not quite sure how one writes this thinking its going to go well. I mean, at best, I think you are really nerdy (at worst, I think you're insane). And while I like a little nerd mixed in my man, I am not a fan of big nerd, and this email just screams it. What I find even more humorous is that in this guy's profile he says he is a normal guy, but his profile actually reads a lot like his message to me. read: not normal.

Ah, well, points for trying.


In other news...

One of the normal guys I am talking to may not be normal at all. His emails are a little...off. I have talked about it before - how he seems to stretch the truth. I just answered his last email and sort of called him on it in the politest way I could. We'll see what he comes up with next.

As I mentioned briefly in the last blog, Mr. Gotham City and I are still talking. Before I was really annoyed by his complete vagueness, but now he seems to be opening up, which is good. We've gotten to know each other and we agreed that we'd meet sometime over the next few weeks (I am on break from school). So I'll have an update about that one soon. What's hard about Gotham is that I have sort of gotten attached. So if it doesn't work out, I will be bummed (just like with sexy pants). The whole point of this dating challenge was to only going on first dates so I didn't get attached (or have to feel bummed if it didn't work) and just meet a bunch of people. But this goes against my nature, of course (I'm an introvert at heart) - perhaps its why I am having trouble with it. I haven't gotten attached to any of the new guys though. Although, in my mind there is precious little to get attached too. Now that I have been doing it a couple of weeks, I don't necessarily know that this dating challenge is going to be wonderful. Especially if I can't get excited about the guys I am talking to. How am I supposed to be excited about a date if I sort of could care less if I continue talking to them??? Hmmmm. Maybe I am just not the no-attachment kind of gal needed to just randomly date lots of guys. Something to mull over, I think.

Ah, well..... until next time.

-PJ

p.s. I have decided when people add you to their favorites, but don't try talking to you, its really, really creepy. Like stalking. So men, take note. It's creepy, stalking-like behavior. And you should refrain from doing it!

I have been talking to a couple of guys lately.

One that lives in Texas....he breaks one of my cardinal rules: not being geographically desirable...but I am SO curious as to how it will play out. I mean, what makes a guy message a girl who lives several states away? What exactly is he hoping to get out of this? And so...we talk. He seems really nice. I almost with he lived near me.

The second guy I am talking about seems pretty cocky. He does, however meet my four rules, so this is why we are talking. But he brags a lot. And a lot of what he says doesn't make a whole lot of sense....like the lines just don't connect. I am not sure if he is lying or stretching the truth...but something about him doesn't scream genuine. I will probably go on a date anyway. You know, my challenge and all.

And Mr. Gotham City is back. Things seems to be going well.

But the person I want to talk about I am NOT talking to. The creep factor is high. But I want to call attention to his profile picture - which is posted below (and I am posting it only because his face is obscured). So feast your eyes on this one:




Talk about creepy. I'd love to message this guy, and ask him what in the world he could possibly be thinking posting this picture. If it weren't creepy enough that he has a gigantic gun, he had to go ahead and post a picture where his face is completely covered up. I mean, how could he think this would be a good picture to post? How could he possible think that it would be a winning shot [pun intended]. I mean, these dating sites stress being ultra careful about who you meet - and who exactly is going to want to go on a date with this guy? Although maybe he is taking the obvious approach. I mean the best serial killers look completely normal - so maybe he thinks by posting this he is throwing off suspicion??? Ah, who knows.

But seriously.
Creepy.

-PJ

Alright, so I know I gave myself the challenge of chatting up every guy and going on dates whenever possible. This is harder than I imagined. I have gotten plenty of messages - but when I look at their profiles the attraction piece is missing. This should make me feel shallow, but it doesn't. I mean, attraction is important. It just is. *shrugs* Here are a list of some of my...more quality...messages

"My name is John." - Yes, that was it. Literally. And what makes it funnier is that his screen-name is his name plus a couple of numbers. So, even without the grand intro, I already knew his name. Sort of makes his message useless huh?

And then I got a message from a guy that said
"Just wanted to say hi." and when I wrote him back, he never replied. I guess he, quite literally, just wanted to say hi.

I also recieved a message from a 37 year old man that told me I had a great profile and he hoped we could chat sometime. I guess I should have mentioned my fourth requirement in my previous blog - age..... between the ages of 23-29 (I'm 25). Because 37 is too old for me to date. In a creepy kind of way.

But my favorite message was this one:

"Hey there!!
Well to start off I am..
5'10
220LBS..
1/ 2 Hawaiian 1/2 Mexican
Stocky/Athletic...division II football
Single, Light brown eyes,Short jet black hair, Straight white teeth
Clear complexion ( NO facial hair ) Dress very Nice
Caring
Honest
Faithful
Passionate
Intelligent
Very Funny
UNC (Business/Marketing)
Nightclub/Bar Manager
Downtown Denver,(xxx)-xxx-xxxx (yes, he actually gave me his #)
Never been married
33 years old..

I hope I intrigued your interest

CL (full name ommited to protect the guilty)
Ps
I hope you like what you see"

Oh boy.
It's like one of those spec lists you read when trying to determine what a piece of electronic equipment to buy. So...am I in the market for a boy-robot? No, I don't think so. And, apparently, among his litany of "qualities" he forgot to mention he can't read. I mean, perhaps I am making an assumption on this one, but I have good reason - it DOES state on my profile that I am interested in guys ages 23-29.....and he is 33. Ah, maybe it's just an oversight. Well, aside from the age thing (because in all honesty, I could probably accept 33 if the guy was a real catch), he is not attractive. In fact, he doesn't even look 33. More like 43. And even if we were going the non-shallow route (and I am, I promise)...I was sort of hoping for an email that didn't read like like a spec list. I mean, how hard is it to write a decent message? (Apparently, very hard). No, it wasn't just the message either. He wasn't intriguing. At least not for me.

I did, however, receive a message from a guy ("Pool Guy" I am dubbing him). Though he seems like a good guy (for far), he is unemployed. Which does not thrill me. But, as part of my challenge, I am determined not to care. He meets every other requirement. So. We are messaging. Perhaps if we can get past that, we'll go out for a date.

No more dinners though. Too much pressure. I am beginning to think going out for drinks is the way to go. That way, if it ends up being really uncomfortable (anyone remember creepy stare guy?), I have alcohol to ease the suffering ;-)

Well, until next time
-PJ

Goodness, it's been awhile. And things have happened haven't they? I guess it's time for a PJ update....

Mr. Gotham City and I sort of broke ties after he freaked out about me not calling him back when i said I would. Oh, and because I was busy with friends on another night he wanted to call me. I guess we all have our insecurities and his came shining through. So I said good-bye. I have my own insecurities to worry about - I can't spend time tending to his.

There was another guy - Sexy Pants...and I thought, maybe. I mean, he seemed decent enough to me. Smart, witty, nice, gave me tons of compliments. But after meeting me (and being quite charming on the date and paying my a lip-service of compliments during) he suddenly had issues with his ex and had to say adiós [through text message, how classy]. I think he was lying about the ex, just to ...ah, how do they say it? Let me down gently? ... It felt like a let down [read: rejection]. That and I saw him online on my dating website two days ago. Clearly things aren't so up in the air with the ex that he can't stroll for girls online. Ah, well, his loss, not mine [okay, yes, it was disappointing, but you win some, you lose some].

Well, I cannot seem to break the first date streak, which I find incredibly annoying. I am just a girl looking for a guy. I just want to [eventually] find my own love story. Some people keep saying my expectations are too high, but I promise they aren't. All I want is a second date. But maybe THAT is too high of an expectation?Who would have thought? I mean, its only date two. It's not like I am asking for a ring or anything. I mean, I already have the ring... [oh, calm down - that was just a joke. It's an heirloom].Well, anyway. I have a new plan.

I think I am going to just go out with any respectable guy that asks. Yes. Even if he calls me sexy pants or some other ridiculous name. Or uses some really cheesy pick-up line. Why am I doing this when I have so adamantly mocked these fellows before? Clearly I just need to go out on a lot of [first] dates. Screw standards or being serious about this. The one? Who cares about finding the elusive "one" or my own love story. For right now. I am just going to live in the moment. Date [a lot]. Just really get knee-deep into it; challenge my introverted self. So. It's the first-date challenge. No expectations, no hopes or wishes for a second date. And a perk? I am bound to meet lots of guys and have plenty of stories to tell - of which I will do here.

I only have 3 standards:
a.) they must be geographically desirable (yes, I was propositioned in South Dakota the other day)
b.) they have to be at least decent looking. I am no Kate Moss, but I think I am pretty enough.
c.) sex cannot be his main objective. Because it certainly isn't mine.

And so this is it...the first date challenge [ah, this sort of sounds like the plot to a really bad teen-romance movie]. Cue the inspiring music.

Here I go.

-PJ