My dating activity has been pretty slow because I took myself off all the dating sites (as I am dating someone, yay!). Even though I am unavailable, I still want to be able to blog a little, so I turn to Skout. I should first point out that on my Skout profile it says I am only interested in friends and chatting. Apparently though, that doesn't really matter to people. I've gotten probably over 50 new chat requests. Most are that stupid, lazy "So and So Winked at you" crap. But I've had some real winners.

Here are some that weren't awesome, but they weren't horrible....they tread the fine line:

“Hello cutie, what’s up?”

“You’re hot”

“U r really really really really beautiful girl”

“Waw :)”

“Hiiiiii [Name]!’

“Wow, you are hott :) What are you up to??”

 “Up for no strings?”
"God you are so incredibly gorgeous [monkey face, smiley face w/heart eyes]."

"Damn you're cute"

"Ops hi [Name]. You have a nice name.] [um...thank you?]

And of course, the ones you all come here to see....

 [and if I have? Because I am pretty sure the scenario that is going on in your head has nothing to do with love. Or romance.]

 [This would have gone into the not terrible, but not awesome category, but then he had to speak again. And that really sealed his fate.]

 [yes, absolutely terrified]

 [that's a new one]

  [um....]

  [you know, I have ESP, so yes, I know, without ever meeting you or your best friend, that yes, we would become BFFs]

  [Yeah. Thanks.]

 [Oh goody. Just what I was hoping for]

 [This one isn't too bad. I've never heard this particular cheesy pick-up line before. Points for originality]

 [Well, thank you for telling me you're not going to call me cute, but will call me something else instead. Why couldn't you have just called me beautiful without saying you weren't going to call me cute? If only your long story had actually been short].

  [You got the whole picture here because there is just so much wrong with it. 1.) His sn is his name and HIS WIFE's name. Ick. 2.) The picture he chose is him in a family picture with his wife.Double ick. 3.) He is 63. triple ick. 4.) "Hi sexy".....from the 63 year old perv whose picture and name include his wife, calling me  sexy. The ick factor is just too much.

 [I hope this is large enough to read. It's been a long while since I've engaged in conversation with someone who has written me something regarding the awesomeness of his penis. It's so....refreshing...to see that somethings never change. Note my sarcasm here. I guess I have to point it out, cause apparently this guy didn't get it.]

It's a good thing I updated my pictures and got a chance to read through all these messages. I am going to go take a mental shower now. Possibly a real one too.

Blech.

-PJ

I will admit that I have had some good first dates followed by the typical rejection text message (cause no one uses a phone anymore). It's disappointing, especially when the guy you like seems awesome and you have a great time. Through all my online dating years, I've never encountered this, although, something equally not-so-cool has happened to me once. This woman handled it way better than me. I wish I could meet her and shake her hand. Cause seriously, his douche baggery and her response are both worthy of a PJ blog. Take a second to read it. And then marvel at how completely fucked up some men are.

Tinder Post-Date Disaster 


Moving on to other things. It's been slow on Skout. But that doesn't mean I haven't gotten anything. No. Men with no class are everywhere; there is no hiding from them. This one is from Blue:

 [Wow. Classy.]

 [How do I even respond to this? By ignoring it you say? Exactly.]

 [Lil cutie? Babygirl? No.]

Good news first:

Comfort/Safe   R
Able to communicate  R
Assertive  R
Confident   R
Good Looking R
Mature  R

That is not a bad list, I don't think. And I am flexible. These are not deal breakers because I understand people are always growing and changing. Someone can learn to communicate, or grow in self-confidence. People can cut their hair and shave their beard and that may do wonders to their image. Maturity can exist in one area of their life, but need development in another area. These are all fluid characteristics, I think. My deal breaks are:

1.) No current drug use (incl marijuana), no serious drinking problems  R
2.) Has to like dogs, since I now have one that will be with me for a very long time.   R
3.) Wants to get married (eventually) and wants kids
4.) Does not want to leave Colorado (my family is here, so I am here)."


The last two are up in the air at the moment for some very good reasons. So for right now, I don't consider them deal breakers. In any case, Mountain Man is amazing. Well, look at my list. I think he is all of those things in some way or another. If things keep going like they have been, I see myself with him for the foreseeable future. I think he feels the same (man I hope so anyway). We have some obstacles we have to work through, but he is the kind of guy that is worth it. He makes me smile. J

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Of course because the world is ying and yang, there must be some bad to off set all this good. Below you'll find the latest of Skout messages (for the time being, I'm off the actual dating sites).

  [Bad English aside....Epitome of beauty? Really? Come on. And oh yes, let me just give you, a complete stranger, me cell phone number in hopes that you what? Charm the pants off me and make me fall madly in love with you? More likely, you trace my number, come find me, and make me into some kind of creepy skin suit. I don't think so.]

 [Yes, it is bad. Because for all you know, I am a 40 year old bald, hairy man just on Skout for kicks (or something far more nefarious). I guess this might work for some women, and those women should definitely not be dating at all, but it does not work for me.]

 [What exactly does it take to be a fancy lady? ...oh.... super, super pretty. Not actually what fancy means at all, but whatever. And thank you for being kind enough to not send me a picture of your penis or any other naked part of your body. I appreciate the gesture. It's actually sad that I have to be appreciative of this because not sending a nude picture should not be the exception. It SHOULD be the norm. But on here, it just so isn't.]

  [Ah, fetishes. I just never tire of them. Of course, as I have previously mentioned, probably not the first thing you should bring up. But I guess if you're just looking for some sexting or actual sex....maybe it doesn't matter. I don't know. I think it's weird to be the first thing you say to someone.]

  [Too late buddy, the guy before you wanted me so badly. But I swear to god if the next words out of your mouth are "if it's wrong, then I don't want to be right." I will scream. At you.]

 [Sure. Please, random stranger, ask me questions. Let me guess - what size is my bra? How big are my breasts. Are they perky? What kind of panties do I wear? Do I actually wear panties? Are my toes painted? Would I let you put your face in between my boobs?  ... all questions I have been asked at some point. By strangers. I know I went to school for psychology. I know I am supposed to understand people and the way their minds work. I swear to God, I just do not understand.]

 [I am so nice, he asked me twice. And since I blocked his profile the first time, he actually just remade his profile and asked again. I wonder if a girl said yes, what he would say....damn. I should have said yes to find out. Well, perhaps he'll ask a third time. You know what they say, third time is the charm.]

 [Hmm is right. Help me out. Are you a vampire? Like whats the point of this picture. And really. Hmm? Come on. Actually, I wish I would have said "hmm what" to see what he said. Damn, I am off my game.]

 [Yes, you must be new. Because this is what you should put on a dating profile, not in a Skout message. And please, give me your life history. I am so very interested in your child and your dead wife and your parents and the place you grew up and blah, blah, blah. Considering what most people use Skout for (re: SEX), I don't think they want to know this stuff either. Try again.]

 [You're not good at this first message thing? You don't say? I would have never guessed from this. Blessings and failures and promises of love, joy and forgiveness. You sound like the writer of a Hallmark card. A writer who was fired for writing shit like this.]

This is Blue's gem of the week:

  [Maybe this is just me, but if you want to get to know someone better and not just hook up, I'd leave out the part of having a nice round plump booty and any mention of hooking up. They might otherwise think you are full of shit.]

Before I close, Blue found a joke that kind of perfectly describes OLD. 

(https://ifunny.co/fun/OjtXARC73)

Ha ha. Exactly. 

-PJ