I think I have a pretty face. I don't think I am beautiful, but I think the word pretty is an accurate word to describe my face. My body is another story. Everyone says I need to learn to love my body before anyone else will love it. I am pretty sure people who say that have a.) never been fat or b.) are living in a fantasy world. America has taught me to hate my body, and whether it is right or wrong I do. Its not what I want to see when I take my clothes off. I'm pretty sure it is not what others want to see. Especially if they are one of those "beautiful people." I'm not alone in thinking this. It just is what it is.

I know you aren't reading this blog for my therapeutic nonsense though. You're reading because either I or the online world of dating fascinates you - or I told you to read. So let me tell you how I am combining all of this....

It is absolutely important that you are honest in your online profile. Nothing is worse than going on a out and realizing your date is not who they say they are. Especially your body. Because that is the first thing a person sees. You can thank corporate America for highlighting body image so much. So I was looking at my profile and wondering if I have been portraying someone I am not. Sure, my profile says I'm "full-figured" (although I am sure that's different to everyone) but the truth is no one reads anymore. They see your profile pictures and determine if they want to speak with you. Its more like Pictorial Dating than anything else. I decided I was not fully representing myself, so I put up some photos I have lying around from last year. None of this in the mirror bullshit. That's just lazy. Just an everyday shot of me, doing whatever it was I was doing. I may be trying to impress, but now so much that I impress you by thinking you're getting something you aren't. My pretty face pulls you in, and then when you discover I'm not skinny, athletic or toned, or whatever the word of the day is... well, I am the one who gets to feel bad once you reject me because I wasn't skinny enough for you. Talk about an excellent way to make a girl anorexic. sheesh.

But moving on, because the topic here was meant to be about Abstinence.

I say it on my profile: "you should message me if.....: If you enjoy being with a girl who is confident and independent, if you have a great sense of humor, and if you can respect that I am practicing abstinence until marriage and the thought of this doesn't scare you off."

So, I am waiting. And as I said above, people don't seem to read profiles. Why bother right? Well, mine contains this nugget of important information. That's right gentlemen, I am not giving it up to you, and no, I don't care how sexy your self-mirror, practically naked picture is.

Today I was talking with a potential candidate for a date. He seems very nice. I initiated the messaging online, if you are wondering. All that talking went well enough that I gave him my number. Its always a gamble in dating, online or not. I should have done my homework though. I should have clicked on the questions we don't have in common, searched by subject and found the sex questions. I didn't, however. And he didn't apparently read my profile. So in our text messaging this whole topic comes up (not in a dirty way). He tells me he loves sex and I jump off the train right there. Big red flag, flying in the wind. I reiterate my abstinence (they always ask if I am still a virgin by the way. why do they ask that every.single.time.? Is there some cultural trend I am unaware of or something?) and I actually have to draw out of him that he is not interested in dating me if sex is off the table. He seemed unwilling to tell me this - like he was trying to protect my feelings. How chivalrous.

I am not bummed about this because I read the answers to his sex questions and we have very different ideas about what sex should be. But we have this whole conversation about it and you know me. I am too curious about people and their inner thoughts for my own good, so I kept the conversation rolling. And he keeps saying "I think............ but that's just my opinion." This annoys me to no end because if you start off a sentence with "I think" then clearly it is your opinion. And by putting "but that's just my opinion" does not soften your words or make whatever you said less than what you actually said. That's a tip for anyone out there. Own your words. Oh, and since we are on a literary rant..... if you ask a question, don't write "I am just curious" before or after the question. If you are asking a question, it is clear you are curious.

I digress. This man tells me that I should "explore" myself before I let anyone else "know me." He told me a few other things too, but I'll just make a blanket statement. I love it when guys tell me what or how I should do something pertaining to sex because I am a virgin and have no experience. Trust me, he isn't the first guy to say something like this to me. And every time I hear it I get annoyed. Believe me guys, I know better than anyone how it feels to not be having sex. I sure as hell know better than you do. I don't need your advice or opinions on it.

I am beginning to think this whole waiting it out thing isn't worth the headache. Seriously. I mean at age 27 this is going to be a obstacle with any guy I date. Not that I cannot find a respectable, understanding guy out there, but....

okay, so this is the text I just got (this guy just asked me how far did I think I would go with a man....and let me be clear, it doesn't feel like a pervy conversation, otherwise I'd be out...anyway, so he asked me and I tell him, I don't know. "I don't know. honestly. I don't. I mean I am a 27 year old woman. I get the same feelings and urges as everyone else. I just don't know. and that isn't something you figure out through self-discovery and contemplation."

His response? "I understand it is very interesting I was there once too :-)"

Oh, I doubt it.

Okay, so the bottom line here:

a.) Always be truthful on your profile.
b.) Anyone out there talking to a person practicing abstinence, don't assume you know what it is like or tell a person how it should be, or be cavalier or sarcastic about someones decision to remain abstinent. Its not helpful. It certainly isn't funny. It DOES make a girl feel self-conscious though. And its kind of a douche-bag move.

I have some conversations going with quite a few people. They made lead no where, but who knows right? There will most definitely be some blogging material either way. So, on that note...

until next time,
PJ

I am feeling cynical. So, just remember that as you read this blog.



So I am back into the world of online dating and it’s going okay. I still get the most conversations out of okcupid.com. I did notice plentyoffish.com has this nice new feature where someone clicks on a button to tell you they want to meet you. I clicked some random good looking guy to see what happened. All it does is send an email to you stating so-and-so wants to meet you. Not exactly a lot of effort. Almost like you could click on fifty girls’ profiles and then sit back and wait to see which ones come to you. It’s lazy. Like the wink of match.com and eharmony.com. People who press these types of buttons don’t even get a looksy from me at their profile. You want to meet me? Show me a little effort. I am not a dime-a-dozen type girl.


I am also on match.com, but the most I get there is hello’s by men in their late 30s or men that are the stereotypical nerd that doesn’t have a prayer (yeah, I’m going to hell for that last statement). I am sickened this is the second time I have been on there, the second time I have paid for it, and still, nothing. I am not going to hurt my own-self esteem today, so we’ll just imagine the problem isn’t me. For the record, I have the exact same profile on each account. It could actually be an interesting social experiment if I cared to try it. But, let’s talk about others [it’s more fun]. I have been talking to threes guys pretty steadily for about three weeks. The first, we will call “Blue Eyes” because he has amazingly blue eyes; the second we’ll call “Looks-alike” because he reminds me of someone I know and the third we will call “Sunshine” because he is always sunny.


So, Blue Eyes is a good guy on paper. Smart, sense of humor, gives the vibe of interested, but not overly so. He has a good, stable job, makes decent money, and is on a no-sodium diet, so he even eats healthy. He is decent-looking; not the first guy I’d pick. He is one of those people you don’t initially see in the crowd, but a second glance around will tell you he has potential. He and I met up on Thursday night to build a bookshelf at my new office – it was a long running joke about Ikea that turned into a little date-like adventure. I thought things went okay. We laughed and talked. He talked more than me because a.) I seem to bring out the talker in every person and b.) I am not a sharer lately. Aware of this fact, I was conscious of making sure I shared enough to seem reciprocal and interested. But it turns out I am not ready for the guy who looks good on paper. My last boyfriend looked good on paper (and in real life) and he sort of did a number on me. I tried my best not to compare this guy with my ex and did great, until I remembered how much fun I had on my first date with my ex, and how completely average my time with this guy seemed. I realized all this post-bookshelf building (is that a date??). My first thought is I am not ready to date. Maybe I am not, but I could stay not ready to date for a long time if I wanted and I really do want to move on. I text him the next day (normally he texts me every morning – this is my fist sign things did not meet either of our expectations) and his response was a “hi” and then he ignored my second text. After my ex, I learned I really, really hate being ignored, so I crossed him off the list. Clearly I was not feeling it with him anyway. One should be excited to be a possible match; I was not.


Looks-alike is my second guy; interestingly enough not my first or second choice to date. I think he is just the second guy I want to weed out it appears. He seems nice. He looks a lot like this other guy that I would really like to date, but cannot (long story). You’d think that would say something to me right there. A big red flag, glaring out into the world. It does not (at least not in the beginning). His pictures make him seem goofy, and I like goofy. Honestly I could use some goofy. However, the more I text him the more I realize that he either is not smart or is not paying attention. Neither of these work for me. What works even less is that after he called me TWICE and I missed both calls. He text me after the second miss and said he’d stop calling because I did not seem “into it.” Both times I gave him a reason for the missed call; perfectly acceptable reasons I might add. Not perfectly true, but he doesn’t know that. I realized I am not excited to talk to him. I really should be. I thought that maybe my heart had not been in it (I really do feel guilty about talking to more than one guy at a time – I don’t know why, no one else seems to). So, I promised myself to try harder with him because I was not being fair writing him off so soon. I told him it was not that I wasn’t interested in getting to know him, but I am busy and not really a telephone person. This is perfectly true. He accepted this, we talk more. He asks me the same questions about my career that he already has asked me. I find this super annoying because I shouldn’t have to repeat myself to someone who claims to be really interested. We shoot the breeze a bit more. I ask more questions to him, give better answers on my end…. I realize I am STILL not interested. So, I think today I am letting that one go. I will say something to him because I know how frustrating it is to be left in the dark.


Sunshine is my third texting guy (but by no means my final). He my age and seems like a gentlemen. He asked if he could call me, which I feel like is old-school on the internet. It was sweet. He seems really happy. Like genuinely happy and enjoying life. I know the internet is a smoke screen, but you just can’t help but believing his cheerfulness. It has a childlike quality to it that I like (and also reminds me of the guy I’d like to date….but I’ve thought about this and think this is just a quality I am drawn to). We have not talked much, but I am far more willing to try with him than I was with the other two. So, we’ll see where that goes.



The Mocking Block.


Just two today….but two that I think are pretty priceless. One is a guy’s photo:



Because nothing says, “Come date me” more than a guy smiling with a hand gun aimed at the camera.



The second one left me this message this morning.

“How’s it going? Hope you’re having a great weekend. I really enjoyed reading your profile. Great to know that you’re a strong believer of Christ. How long have you been a Christian? What does your faith mean to you? Where do you hope to be in five years? Pray you have a great Sunday. Be safe out there. The roads are really icy. Prayers of protection be upon you!!!”

. Let’s be fair. He does sound nice. Nice and Christian. Nice and Christian and Churchy. How long have I been a Christian? What does my faith me to me? Where will I be in the next five years? Did I miss something? Am I applying to be a Christian wife or…..??? The guy actually looks like a slick player in his photo. No joke. If I were to see him in a crowd I’d think: player. Which is why I never judge a person by their picture (okay, honesty again, I try not to anymore). It is nice that the guy is praying for me….but the guy is praying for me. On a dating website the guy’s first email is that he is praying for me and playing 20 questions about one subject typically avoided for the first few conversations (well, except for the 5 year goal one…which is reminiscent of a job interview). I am no expert at dating, but I am pretty sure this has disaster written all over it. I just had flash backs of my date with Tim who told me college was the Antichrist and that I am too smart for my own good - the guy who practically screamed his belief about women belonging in the kitchen, barefoot and preggers. I’ll pass. I’ll pass nicely though, because he did say he’d pray for me.


Ah, the dating game. What a whirlwind of romancelessness.


-PJ

I’m a counselor-to-be, so I know the world isn’t divided up into normal and not normal. There are so many shades of gray that it’s fair to say “normal” is merely perception and doesn’t really exist. I’ve met some really interesting [in a good way] people online. In fact, one I email with regularly seems like a great guy so far. Another one I am text with also seems to be nice.
 
So I guess it’s not fair to say all weird people seem attracted to me as if I am a gigantic magnet for weird/creepy/and not [reasonably] normal…. But it sure feels that way. Anyway, you know I love the mocking block and this guy was just too good to pass up [don’t worry, I know there is a special seat in the 9th circle of hell just for me because of my blogs like this]……
 
So, I’ve been chatting with this guy. I was all set to look past the jail time (ha ha, no, I’m not kidding, he went to jail for a DWAI) because the past is the past and he turned his life towards God and as I’ve been witness to people at my church of people who have dramatically changed their lives when they let God in their heart (and here in lies the little irony to my story). So I was looking past it [tentatively]. But then this little email comes along and I laughed so much…. Not the content perhaps, but…well, you’ll see and then I’ll explain…
 
Background: the guy looks like a cowboy from the south. I don’t know if he actually is or not, but his multiple pictures make him seem so. Add that to the Southern Baptist-like beliefs (no offense to all your Southern Baptists out there) and the way he writes, I assume he has spent a majority of time in the south. Oh, and his pictures also make him seem normal (no, I’m not shallow, I know you can’t judge a book by its cover, which this tale obviously tells)... His profile also seemed great, so he looked good on paper [the weird ones always do]. So after a few messages I start thinking this guy is not what his profile makes him seem [i.e. “normalish”]. I am pretty sure that English is either not his first language or he never properly learned to read and write, because his writing skills are abysmal and he sounds like one of those guys you get when you call a customer service line and he says his name is “Tom,” but he is really a guy from India who barely speaks enough English to handle the call.
 
So one of his emails to me is this…
“……ya, I know that church for I used to go to it. Paster guill (I think that’s how you spell his name) was the pastor and then he cheated on his wife with a college girl so we stopped going, then we went to it not too long ago and they sang a pink floyd song (money) and in that song the is a curse word and the band sand that word and my mom talked to the pastor about that and the past was very rude to my mom and wouldn’t tell my mom is take on cursing so we will not go back to that church. Ya I would say that church is good for new believers but my church is hardcore into the Bible first church that the service is all about Jesus (for He is who we are to follow) and the church is not about how to live life (like with money) you would prolly love my church no lie!”
 
Can you see where I am coming from? This is not even the worst of the emails; it’s just an excerpt from one. But I even wrote back and told him that perhaps we weren’t a good match because he sounds more conservative and I am far more liberal. He wrote me back and said he didn’t know where I got that idea from [where would I get an idea with that, what when people have problems with cursing and all] and that he loved my church and went there for years until his mother told him about the Pastor (which, btw, wasn’t the real story with the Pastor anyhow) and so his family stopped going. And there was more of him back-tracking in the next two of his messages….so I honestly don’t even know what to think about him at this point.
 
At the very least, even if he turned out to be the most non-judgmental guy on the planet and was super supportive of gay people (it came up in our conversation) and he wasn’t the Crazy Christian his letters make him sound like….he is a mamma’s boy. Living at home at age 27 (supposedly because of his jail time awhile back), he tells me his parents are super strict so he can’t go out much AND he doesn’t even question his parents beliefs/views, just going along [religiously] with whatever they tell him. I mean, why wouldn’t I want to be friends with someone so well-adjusted like that? I can’t say too much cause at 26 I live at home too (school loans and master’s programs are the death of my social life), but notice that I have my own life, I run my own life, and I express my views and opinions overtly, without referring back to my mother and what she believes.
 
So what can I say to wrap up this disaster of a conversation? He asked me for my number, insisting I have this all wrong. But like I said, even if our wires got crossed on religion and he isn’t one of those crazy Christians that make the rest of us look bad…. He still has issues. And they are like, Freudian issues…like Oedipus/Electra complexes and weird crap like that [and I don’t even believe in much of Freud’s work]….and well, I deal with crazy daily…I don’t need that in my life.
 
I feel bad for the guy. I get the feeling (from a couple of sentences in a few emails) he doesn’t have a lot of friends or a lot of interest from his profile on the dating website. I am not surprised, but I still feel bad for him. One thing I can definitely say is I am willing to give a lot of people a chance (I mean, I’m not trophy wife, prize catch either), but I do have standards and those standards include a man being well-adjusted with his mother; because I have seen too many relationships that have too many problems because the mom is over-bearing or the relationship is creepy-weird between the two.
 
So, mamma’s boy is out.
And hopefully this blog doesn’t kill me karmicly (yeah, that’s right; I did just make up that word).
 
PJ
 

Greetings. It's been awhile. A lot has happened to me in the past 6 months. I actively stepped away from all dating for awhile to do some work on myself. I think I've somewhat achieved that and so I returned to online dating.

I changed my profile name to something more upbeat and representative of my personality. I updated my pictures. I even went as far as having a professional help me write my page to increase my responses (match.com). So far this has not worked, but what they said was elegant and captured the best of me, so I am okay with it.

But today I want to talk about my latest contact, a man I appropriately named: "The Creeper."

Well, he seemed normal enough. I mean, I wasn't thrilled about a few things in his profile, but in the grand scheme of things they weren't deal breakers and I am trying to be more open minded. I did not know how open minded I would have to be, however. So his first email is nice enough:

"WOW you are beautiful! & you seem like a down to earth nice girl!...
I'd love to talk ". He gave me his name and number, so I thought, why not? So I gave him my info and he texts me. He asks for a picture. This is not so unusual, I think, so I give him one. But then he asks for another. And he sends me his. I loved it - it was the classic "Half naked in front of the gym mirror taking a picture with my cellphone" look that is so cliche it's ridiculous. He isn't hot, but he is nice enough. But then he tells me how beautiful and hot and yummy I am. No, I am not making it up, he described me as yummy. Like I am some type of delicious pastry to be devoured.

I think I am pretty. Hell, my co-worker said I looked sexy the other day. But this guy saw a few pictures of me and is throwing around Aphrodite-like adjectives like its a Sunday football game. I don't take complements well, even I'll acknowledge it, but seriously, there is a line between genuine and telling someone something your *think* they want to hear. My spidey senses started tingling here. But I persevered on because, well, why not?

But then came the personal questions. Like my bra cup size and if I shave in my nether regions. I was shocked. I hadn't even been talking to the guy 24 hours and he is asking me such personal questions. Uh, hello boundaries? The creepiness factor went through the roof and I knew in that moment I would never, ever meet this man in person.

I did, however, answer his questions (not truthfully). I admit. I was curious where the conversation would go. How far would he take it? What's sad is that every question he asked was sex related. Nothing about my personality (but then he tells me how cool I am. Maybe I'm just the first girl who answered his pervey questions and this makes me downright awesome in his book). When the conversation took a turn that sounded suspiciously like sexting, I bowed out. I mean, I've read enough romance novels in my life and have a large enough vocabulary that I can be creative, explicit, and probably down-right dirty. But...well... it's just creepy to talk like that to someone you've never met.

I'm not sure I get this guy, who claims I am, "yummy n hot" and that he is "not after [me] for sex. [I'm] a hottie and seem nice." Again with the reference to my personality that he knows nothing about. And I have such a hard time believing its not about sex when ever single question he asked is sex related. But my favorite part was that he had this great assumption I'd meet up with him this weekend for sex. I told him I wasn't so easy. He also asked for a picture of my v-jay-jay and told me my reward would be a picture of his cock. Man, he really knows how to romance a lady. Lets just get straight to business, who cares about the niceties - like knowing my last name. Yikes! Needless to say I declined the offer. I had to decline it again when he tried to compromise for just a picture of my breast. Because that is so much better. Apparently I entered into the twilight zone of "Match.com Gone Wild."

So The Creeper is being tossed out with the garbage. It was an entertaining day of texting, but by the end of it I just couldn't believe anyone would try to be so personal from day one. (And really, do you really want to date a girl that will just air all her information and take slutty pictures for you? I mean, hello, have some freakin standards!).

And in any case I just got a text message from him, "Well good luck u didnt call n u r online so ur deleted by" I'll save the comments about everything wrong with that sentence from a general point of view. I won't even discuss the punctuation, grammar and spelling and just leave the man with his pride. Or something.

Oh online dating. I did not miss you. But I guess I am back.

-PJ

Ah. There are weeks when no one will write anything to me and I almost forget, in my peaceful life, that online dating exists [I love weeks like this]. And then....out of the blue, I get messages like this and I am reminded why I am pursing online dating from a distance....

"Dear [PJ], please read carefully... you wrote on your profile:

"God is a huge part of my life and I attribute all my success in anything to Him. I feel like God's "better life" for me includes waiting until marriage to have sex. If you have a problem with this or don't see yourself being able to respect my decision, then we probably won't be dating. One thing I'm going to mention straight away on here is that I am not skinny or slender, by any means. I work out, eat right and am spending the time to get healthy, but to be frank, I'm not thin."

Honestly and with all respect... As a man, I respect your wanting to stay celibate until marriage, a lot of men WANT THAT... so don't worry too much about that.
BUT a lot of us also don't care whether you are "skinny" or "slender" as a matter of fact many of us would rather be with a "big" girl than with one who vomits three times a day... no offense to girls who struggle with that, but eating disorders are CREEPY and men don't find that attractive... so don't worry about that too much either, in fact scratch that little bit from your profile mainly because it shows a lack of confidence and that is even less appealing than how much a woman weighs or doesn't weigh. Men want to be loved for who they are as well, focus on that and you may find someone who will love YOU for who YOU ARE... Just some advice sweetie. bye."

I read through it a couple of times before deciding that my emotion about the letter should be offended. I mean...seriously. I don't really think that, in this day and age, a lot of men WANT celibacy until marriage. I mean, I don't have any statistics to back me up here (although he doesn't either), but I got wayyy more messages before I put that little tid-bit into my profile. I see a correlation at least. But I guess that comment was small potatos compared to the one about my weight....so it's going on the mocking block. Cheers.

BUT a lot of us also don't care whether you are "skinny" or "slender" I simply refuse to believe this. Society, sad as it is, prizes thin, you can't tell me the majority of male society doesn't care. as a matter of fact many of us would rather be with a "big" girl I've personally always had a problem with the adjective 'big girl' but what I hate more about this sentence is how he writes it..."big girl." Who knows, perhaps its the quotations that gives it a tone that makes me want to slap him...than with one who vomits three times a dayAnd how exactly does he know that I don't vomit three times a day...he could have just offended me here... no offense to girls who struggle with that, but eating disorders are CREEPY and men don't find that attractiveyou know what I don't find attractive? Guys who write girls with the sole purpose of critiquing their profiles. I find it creepy. And condescending. ... so don't worry about that too much eitherokay...but just because YOU say so...I'll take your opinion as what all men think, in fact scratch that little bit from your profile mainly because it shows a lack of confidence and that is even less appealing than how much a woman weighs or doesn't weighAh. This is the part I really want to roll my eyes at. Lack of confidence? Uh....no, no genius, it doesn't show a lack of confidence. In fact, I'm not sure if you know what that word means, perhaps, before talking you should look up the big words, okay?. Men want to be loved for who they are as well, focus on that and you may find someone who will love YOU for who YOU ARE... Just some advice sweetieDon't even get me started on the whole sweetie thing. bye." Honestly...I am just really confused on why this guy is single.

Okay...so perhaps more than mocking it I am just flat-out annoyed by this guy (who, btw, has this creepy picture in which the word serial killer comes to mind). I mean, seriously. I don't understand how telling people that I am not thin equates to a lack of confidence. It DOES, however, equate to an honest, realistic picture of myself and where I am in my life. Notice how I don't lie to anyone so they are getting a nice surprise, expecting one thing and getting something else. I am not sure how this genius came up with a lack of confidence...but anyone who actually knows me, knows that I am a pretty confident person in general. *sigh*

I am tempted to write this guy back. Like...

Hey "Sweetie" Please ready carefully [and incidentally...who the F writes that in a message anyway?] who do you think you are and why on earth would you write someone a message like that? If I wanted your opinion I'd have asked for it. But I don't want it. Because clearly you are crazy. And while we are on that subject, you really should refrain from posting those pictures of yourself. When I see them, I imagine a cabin in the woods and you taking women there to murder them with a chain saw. In case you weren't aware, girls like guys that aren't creepy looking; re: they don't look like serial killers in pursuit of their next victim. Just a thought, you know, in case you wanted my unsolicited opinion on the matter.

....But maybe just letting it go, taking the higher road in not pointing out that his lack of intelligence is a turnoff and girls honestly appreciate a man who is...you know...not a condescending idiot... is the way to go on this one.

*shakes head*

PJ

My continued frustration with OLD is the whole communication thing. I mean I don't know how hard it is to have a reciprocal conversation with someone, but apparently it is a real issue for men.

Case and point.

This guy started messaging me - his first message was "hi," which you all know I hate, but I looked past that and said hello back. So we exchange a few emails...but the conversation comes to a screeching halt when...well, here is the convo:

"hi :)

hello :-)
how are you?

pretty good how bout yourself? my name is xxx

I am doing well myself, thank you. My name is xxx :-)

nice to meet u :)...u like reggae huh? u like Pepper?

No, I don't actually like reggae. I said I could exclude them in the list of music I liked. Are you a reggae fan?

just Sublime and Pepper

I have a few songs of each on my IPOD, but overall I am not a huge fan of the genre. What other music do you listen to?

im a electronica dj, and anythig but emo, and metal. oh and that auto tune crap like akon.:

[crickets chirping] and thats it. How do I even reply to that? How hard is it to ask a follow up? How about "what music do you listen to?" Or pick another topic! Anything! Please don't make me carry the conversation - because I could answer this with something like, "that's cool, do you like being a DJ?" or maybe comment on electronica (though I don't know what that is), but really...I don't want to be the only one talking!

I read once (and have heard many times) that if a guy is interested, he wants to get to know you. I guess this means that all these guys messaging me aren't actually interested. Or maybe they are all really crappy at communication. Even the dates I have been on in the past year have been more one sided. Gotham City barely asked me anything about myself (if I didn't ask a question, it was radio silence). Even Sexy Pants was like that a little. What is the deal? Anyone have the foggiest idea?

And don't even get me started on IM guy, who does not seem able to about anything other than himself. I mean it. It was like the most painful thing. I wish I had some of the IM's saved - just to show you I am not making things up - there was no reciprocation. None. Ugh.

And these are only a few of the many males whom I have had this problem with *sigh*

Okay, I was ranting. Obviously this lack of communication really bothers me. I think back to that one guy (what did I call him? hmmm). He really had the best emails. There were answers and questions and it was honestly easy to talk with him. Too bad it didn't work out. Of course even my guy friends seem to have issues with being reciprocal. So maybe it is a gender thing? Or a me thing. Who knows. But its annoying. Okay, now I am done. I wish I had some stuff to throw on the mocking block, but its been a relatively slow week.

-PJ